


Your Majesty

by YukiYouko (Kosho)



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Eventual Fluff, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Execution, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Master & Servant, Master/Servant, Servants, Time Travel, World Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-07-19 13:24:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 24,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7363060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kosho/pseuds/YukiYouko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen begins his first taste of true free time the wrong way, accidentally stumbling into a world not his own, and right into execution, saved from his fate by a young elven girl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Her Guardian

**Author's Note:**

> This is more or less a flashback, the main setting is years after this chapter. My project for Camp NaNoWriMo.

It all began years ago, in a land far from his home. He had begun his new life after the Inquisition had completely disbanded, travelling, wanting to see what the world had to offer, but a quirk of fate left him to die at the hands of a power he had no idea existed. His travels led him to seek shelter in the forest, waiting out a heavy storm, a noise leading him to investigate, unwittingly walking through a portal, to where, he had no idea, only that that mistake had left him at the mercy of a queen he had no idea existed. Threatened by the presence of a human in lands where they dared not go, he had been beaten mercilessly, thrown into the dungeons, to be executed on the morrow. Were it not for the words of a little girl, his life would have ended.

“Please, no more killing, if he is a burden, he can serve a purpose at my side.” The child had pleaded.

Initially, the Queen had argued the point, insisting a human could never be trusted, that he would only use her as the means to escape, maybe even kill her. The stubborn child met her arguments head on, eventually wearing her down enough to agree with her, though it had taken hours and at least one other language that he didn’t understand before anyone approached again.

“My foolish girl believes you would willingly indenture yourself to her to save yourself. She believes you are to be trusted, would you prefer to serve her and protect her from the dangers this world has in store for her, or would you rather meet your fate at the point of my blade?” she questioned angrily.

Her slim hand snaked through the bars of the cell, gripped in his hair, yanking his head forcibly back. He had never imagined he would find himself in this position, and the choice, at least in his mind, was obvious. Whoever the girl was, she cared enough to bargain for his life, and if nothing else, there was no way a young girl like her would be a bother, right?

“I…I will serve the girl…” he groaned.

“Not as much of an imbecile as I took you for. I shall bring her to you to meet.” She announced.

He slumped against the bars, cold and uncomfortable against his back, but he was grateful for it, glad that he had managed a way out of this, a way that, someday, perhaps, might see him back to his own world. After a time, the woman returned with the girl from before, her face buried behind a weathered stuffed bear, the kind a child of royalty would normally never be allowed to keep, though he imagined if she fought so hard to save a stranger’s life, she might well have fought harder to keep such a well-loved bear.

“Introduce yourself, this was what you wanted, you’re going to see it through!” she scolded.

The girl peered out from behind her bear after a moment, taking the time to make a mental note of what few features he could see. Her hair was to her shoulders, falling in loose curls, an intriguing flow of oranges, yellows and reds all mingling together, her eyes a grey that melted into the slightest hint of blue, pointed ears barely visible from behind all the hair. An elf, already complicating things in his mind, he was used to the Dalish, where there were still nobles, but few, and far between, nothing on this scale.

“I…I’m Aithne.” She began nervously. Holding up her bear then, she added “This is Socks.”

Unsure what was expected of him, he cautiously held his hand out through the bars, reaching first for the bear’s tattered paw, shaking it before reaching for hers, shaking it gently, the girl looked fragile, and he didn’t want to hurt her.

“My name is Cullen.” He said kindly.

The woman glared daggers at him, silently threatening him. “I’m Alice, don’t ever call me that.” She told him, gesturing to the girl. “This is my daughter, my _only_ daughter. If you so much as think of hurting her, you’ll die. My child is sickly, and you will be responsible for her safety as well as her health, you’ll learn the routine, and if you mess it up, even she will not save you a second time.”

Alice held the key out to the girl, as if telling her she was responsible for her decision, if he was to be free, she would be the one to let him out. Aithne reached for it, struggling to reach the lock, a triumphant, yet quiet cheer escaping when she managed to insert the key, her tongue wedged at the corner of her mouth, her hand shaking as she unlocked it. The second the barred door swung open, he wanted to pick her up, to spin her in gratitude, though he thought better of it, glancing down at her, then to her mother, wondering what he was supposed to do now.

“Aithne, show him to the guest quarters for the night, in the morning, he can be taught.” She instructed.

Without hesitation, she shuffled the bear to her right hand, her left reaching for his, beaming happily in a way that showed gaps where she had lost a few teeth, pulling him down the dimly lit corridor.

“This way, come on!” she said happily.

For a girl who was supposed to be sick, it didn’t show, she pulled him firmly, almost knocking him off balance, up a set of stairs and into the building, large and more imposing than even the Winter Palace, though he was fairly sure he wasn’t even seeing all of it from this side. She burst through a door, almost dragging him down the hall before she stopped, nodding to the door.

“This is your room. It’s a very nice one, and if you’re scared, Socks will keep you safe.” She said seriously, pressing the bear into his arms.

She skipped off further down the hall before she disappeared into a different room. Cullen sighed, pushing the door open, stopping just inside. The room was spacious, simply decorated, but better than he was used to by far, crossing the room to sit on the bed, staring down at the bear he held. He could understand her mother’s concern, of course, but how Aithne had managed to be so caring, and so concerned for the wellbeing of a man she had just met, a human, even, was strange to him. At the very least, he was certain that as long as she didn’t come to harm in his care, he was safe, it was shameful that he should have to rely on a child to keep his head off the block, but it could have gone much worse.

_If only he had known then, what he was truly getting himself into. Had he the ability to see into the future, he would have realized just how wrong he was about his initial assessment of her. Much of it was truly spot on, caring and concerned was right, however he had misjudged her, proving to be rebellious as well._


	2. Wandering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aithne tests her limits and her resolve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm absolutely not satisfied with this, but I'll leave it alone for now.

Night had fallen, and Cullen went to make sure Aithne had gotten to bed, the same routine every night since he had arrived. Knocking on the door to announce his presence, he waited a minute before entering, immediately palming his face with a sigh.

“Please tell me you’re not going to do it again tonight, what if your mother finds out?” he asked nervously.

Aithne smoothed out her hair, long and black, pulled back in a long braid, a form of magic she had learned over time. She glanced back at him with a frown, turning her attention to the surface of her desk, ignoring the mirror in front of her.

“I’m sorry, I know that it bothers you, but it’s alive out there, people, places I’ve never seen still. I can’t help but want to go…” she mumbled apologetically.

He raked a hand through his hair, when she sounded like that, he couldn’t refuse. She had done this for years, sneaking out off the grounds to wander and explore, and he followed every time, protesting the entire way. Lately, she had been wandering awfully close to human lands, and he had tried valiantly to warn her against going, during his training at the beginning, he had been forced to learn why things were the way they were, and like his lands, there had been struggles between the elves and the humans, culminating in a bloody conflict that reduced numbers on both sides, the local village and the castle. He had learned that the Queen had once had a son, a little older than Aithne, who had been murdered, dismembered, and left on her doorstep, later discovered to have been kidnapped off the grounds, the cause of her tight hold on her daughter.

“I… don’t mean this to sound the way I’m sure it will, but even like this, you stand out. You can’t hide your ears, and if the wrong person got ahold of you…” he stopped there, unwilling to elaborate on the number of things that could happen to her.

Standing slowly, she reached for his hands, smiling gently. “I can take care of myself, I’m not a little girl anymore. Even so, you’ll keep me safe, right?”

Maker, why did she have to be so persuasive? It had nothing to do with her words, but the way she said them. Her voice was soft, and every word was pure honey, and he kicked himself mentally every time he gave in. At the end of the day, time had done nothing to diminish the realization that if anything happened to her, he wouldn’t live through it. Shaking his head, he nodded, his hand coming to rest on the hilt of his sword, thankful that he hadn’t quite retired his armor when he meant to.

“Alright, alright. We’ll go, but I’d rather not stay out all night this time, the last time you pulled this, your mother very nearly found out. I can’t stress enough to be more careful…” he told her.

Aithne went for the window, looking out before she leapt down, not far from the ground. Cullen followed shortly behind, never more than a few steps away from her, his eyes scanning the darkness for signs of movement, always listening for sounds out of the ordinary. Pausing, she leaned back into the room, grabbing a small bag from the edge of her bed before choosing a direction.

“What is that?” he asked, concerned.

“There’s food in here, and when it’s empty, I can use it to gather herbs on the way back.” She explained quietly.

“My lady, dinner wasn’t long ago, where do you put it all?” he questioned.

“It isn’t for me. I’m not hungry, it’s better that you don’t know.” She said assuredly.

That was something he didn’t want to hear. That was the sound of scheming, she was planning to do something he _definitely_ wouldn’t approve of, and she wasn’t going to let him in on it until it was too late to stop it. Protesting it wouldn’t do any good either, she’d simply laugh it off like he was concerned about nothing. Thanks to these late night excursions, he had come to learn the paths through the forests well, and he might have tried to sneak out on his own, had she not been so _damned_ nice. He had gotten so used to her presence that he hadn’t minded life here, though he dearly missed his home. Early on, he told her he wasn’t from this world, and she had never once questioned it, often begging to hear his tales of the Blight, of Kirkwall, and the Inquisition, and to him, that meant telling her of the Warden, and Hawke, and Lavellan, never of himself.

“What’s it like? Ferelden, I mean.” She asked, trying to ease his tension.

“I spent much of my time before I got here in Skyhold. In the mountains, where it was cold most of the time, I hadn’t found a new home after.” Cullen said, trying to keep it simple.

Aithne stopped at the edge of the path, staring at the torchlight down the path. This is where she usually stopped, relaxing for a short time before moving on, never going further, the human lands eventually intimidating her into retreating for the night. He stared at the path, lost in thought until he felt her reach for his hand, her sign that she was starting to feel nervous.

“Will you show me someday?” she pleaded, her voice shaking almost unnoticeably.

Cullen gently squeezed her hand reassuringly, expecting her to turn the other way. He wanted to go home, of course, but whether he could or not, he didn’t know, and even if he did, there was no way to get her back with him unnoticed. The look in her eyes was the same one she had always pulled, the kind of look that was nearly impossible to refuse.

“If that is what you wish, My Lady, then I will take you there, someday.” He told her, though he hated the idea of lying to her.

It was as if his promise had made her bolder, though she stuck to the safety of the trees, she guided him with her towards the village, though he tried to pull back to get her to stop.

“We can’t go that way!” he hissed out quietly.

“You’re the only human I know…how will I ever make a good impression in your world if I can’t see more?” she asked, pouting.

This was a bad idea, he knew it and he hoped she did too, but when she had her heart set on something, it was impossible to change it. He grudgingly allowed her to lead him where she wanted to go, his free hand fixed on the side of his blade, still doing his best to try and pay attention for signs of trouble. The village came closer into view, and as she stepped out of the line of trees, all hopes that she would abandon the foolish idea and turn around fled. Trying to look small, less of a target, she looked around, spying a cage near the edge of the village, wandering just close enough to deposit the contents of the bag within grasping range.

“You brought that to feed a prisoner?” he whispered questioningly.

“I overheard one of the castle guards talking about her. I wanted to make sure she was okay…” she mumbled guiltily.

He shook his head with a small smile. “You really haven’t changed at all, have you?”

Taking it the wrong way, she hung her head. “I wish I could do more, but I don’t have the key and I can’t break it open. It’s all I can do for now…”

Cullen tried once again to direct her back to the concealed safety of the trees, surprised when she listened this time. Unable to shake the feeling she’d come back again, and he would have to go with, he waited to voice his concern until they were out of the way.

“You’re not going to stop until you free her, are you?” he asked.

Aithne shook her head affirmatively, stopping when she noticed a few of the herbs she had been searching for, filling the small bag, sighing quietly. “I don’t mean to make trouble for you, I don’t want you to think I’m not considering you in all this either…”

He took a deep breath, finding it hard to be upset with her. “I can see this is important to you, just…be more careful. You’re taking too many risks.”

She looked sad, but nodded again, indicating she would try to do better, though she hadn’t said anything. He had been around her long enough to know that at this point, it was because she hated the sound of her voice when she felt sad. It was a very innocent reason, reminding him again that she hadn’t changed all that much over the years.

“If it will keep you out of trouble, I’ll see what can be done…” he sighed.

He wasn’t about to offer to sneak in alone and spring the woman, but it wouldn’t hurt to pass it on that she was very concerned about one of her own being imprisoned so close by with no one else trying to help. As much as she didn’t trust or like him, the Queen was certain to do something if she knew how much it meant to her, right?


	3. The Thief Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A face Aithne hasn't seen in many years return with fortuitous timing, and Cullen remembers him.

They sat out in the garden, at her insistence, and really, it was a nice place, quiet, and calming. She hadn’t spoken much all morning, and he imagined she had a lot on her mind, though it could be a great number of things. He stared down at his boots, hunched over on the bench they shared, trying to decide whether or not to ask.

“Something on your mind, princess?” he asked quietly.

Aithne started to speak, though she choked on her words, her eyes beginning to water. Shaking her head, she looked away. It was a concern, in all the years he had known her, he had rarely seen her cry, the last time being when Socks lost a leg to the front gate, recalling how she smiled when he figured out how to repair the lost limb. Cullen sighed, lost as to if there was any way to make her feel better, perhaps her illness had once again flared and she was in pain?

“Are you hurt? Do you need to return to bed?” he asked, hoping it wasn’t serious.

“It’s not that. My heart hurts for you.” She mumbled, rubbing at her eyes.

“Don’t worry about me, I’m fine, I’m worried more for you.” He said, brushing off the concern.

“I heard you last night. I couldn’t sleep and I walked the halls. I didn’t want to go in without permission, you’re homesick. It isn’t right that I’ve kept you away so long.” She said, her words catching with her breaths.

Again, he couldn’t shake the feeling that she had changed so little. From the moment they had met, her focus had been more on how he was being treated, how he felt, offering precious little thought to herself. Cullen frowned deeply at this, scooting closer, his arms snug around her, thinking a hug might cheer her up. It worked, at least somewhat, her breathing slowed, and her tears turned to sniffles, at least it was something.

“I can assure you, there’s nowhere I’d rather be than at your side.” He said, not a complete lie.

He had found a purpose in caring for her, and even when she was doing something she shouldn’t he had to admit he enjoyed her company. On the subject of those who were trapped, he had done what he thought he should, inquiring about securing aid to free the elven prisoner, met with immediate refusal and a warning to forget about her. Against his better judgment, he had made a promise to himself that for her sake, he wouldn’t even consider leaving until she was free, if only because he knew that it would make her feel better. He was settled on that as well, he would help her out, some small thing he could do to begin to repay her kindness, and then he would spend his spare time trying to find the portal he had walked through.

It was this day he began to believe in fate, at least, a little. For it seemed, fate did indeed have a sense of humor. Cullen stood, wandering a circle around the bench, mostly to stretch, but also to consider that _none_ of the plants growing here resembled those in his world. A guard circled the building, bowing when he saw her, his expression apologetic, presumably over interrupting her day.

“Princess, please forgive the intrusion, but you have company.” He said, waving to someone neither could see.

“Company? Who would visit, unless it’s – “her words were cut short.

Cullen pointed in surprise, more than a little confused. “You!” he managed.

The man froze in place for a moment, before resuming his casual steps, sparing him a grin and a wave as he made his way towards Aithne. Kneeling briefly, he reached for her hand, planting a kiss on the back of her hands before rising, sweeping his hand through his hair.

“Ahh, Princess, the years have been kind to you. You’re making these flowers seem like weeds.” He told her.

“It’s been so long since your last visit, have you had trouble?” she wondered.

Cullen once again interrupted. “Last visit? You’ve been here before?”

“I come here from time to time. After my time with the Warden, I had to stay a step ahead of the Crows, and I wandered in here by accident.” He answered.

“I wasn’t aware you knew Zevran, Cullen.” She said thoughtfully.

“Barely, we’ve met before, briefly. Then again, I barely knew the Warden, not like we’re close.” He explained.

“How long are you staying this time?” she asked pleasantly.

Zevran shrugged slightly, clearly unsure, though he quickly changed before his eyes, he smiled, tipping his head slightly to the side as he looked at her. “As long as you wish me to stay.”

Cullen’s breath escaped slowly, silently hoping he would leave right then. He hadn’t particularly found him pleasant before, later discovering he was an assassin, and incredibly charming on top of that. That alone didn’t bother him so much as the concern he might try something with her, and that, he was sure, the Queen would count as ‘harm’ coming to her. To his chagrin, she laughed, finding the situation amusing, the exact opposite of how he had hoped she might react, it was as though she had no sense of dangerous situations.

“Don’t let me decide, I might suggest you stay a long time.” She paused, frowning as she looked in his direction. “Just ask Cullen, he’s been here a very long time.”

He looked at him questioningly, as if asking him without words. “Really?”

“I’ve been here for around 12 years, I believe. It has been a pleasure.” He affirmed.

As much as he missed home, he didn’t intend to make her feel like it was all terrible. In truth, he was proud, he had kept her safe for so long, despite her seemingly trying to seek out awful situations.

“That would explain it. I haven’t been here in a little over that. This one was a little wisp when I was here last.” He thought out loud.

“That reminds me, did you bring me anything this time?” she all but begged.

He dug into a pouch, producing a silver hair ornament, handing it to her. Cullen kept silent on the matter, but he was almost certain it had been stolen, and while wrong, he couldn’t rightly suggest it in front of her. That was when it occurred to him, he was not just an assassin, but possibly a thief, maybe he was perfect. Well, not him, he didn’t care for him still, but if he could break into someone’s valuables, who was to say he couldn’t pick a lock to a cage? Cullen paused at her side, whispering something to her, amber eyes darting to him on occasion, as though making sure he wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. Her eyes lit up and she gasped, realizing what he was suggesting, her arms flying around his neck gratefully.

“I wondered if maybe you wanted to help me with something?” she mumbled to him quietly.

It was rare these days that she was quiet, almost reserved in such a way, though he suspected it was just the nature of her request.

“I am at your service, always a pleasure to help a beautiful girl out.” He said.

Cullen’s face shifted in disgust, though a second glance to her, and he had to admit, she wasn’t quite the same little girl either. Easy to forget that she had grown up, the first time he could recall that epiphany, shaking it from his mind, not exactly relevant to this situation. Aithne examined her surroundings before waving him over, her hands cupped around his ear, whispering to him in case the guards were trying to listen in as they sometimes did. When she finished, he leaned back upright, nodding slowly.

“I believe I _can_ help with that.” Zevran answered, lightly scraping his chin as he thought about it a little longer. “In fact, I’m certain it will be a simple matter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to make a joke about Zev not being able to pick locks, but then I figured 12-13 years might have made him better at it. Or maybe I'll still toss it in.


	4. Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally able to rescue the caged woman proves to be a major error...

When night fell, they gathered in her room to quietly discuss the plan. Zevran smiled in a way that made him uncomfortable, almost predatory, placing the tool in her hand lingering on it too long for his comfort.

“Princess, would you like me to teach you?” he asked.

Cullen stepped in then, shaking his head vehemently. “Come on now, she’s no _thief_ , she has no reason to learn those things, and her mother…what would her mother say if she knew?”

He muffled a chuckle, patting his shoulder. “You worry too much. I was just offering.”

“I’ve heard the stories; I can’t afford to be too careful with her safety. That aside, we know the path to the village. The problem is that she’s sure to be guarded, patrols at regular intervals, you won’t have much time.” He explained.

Zevran’s hand fell to his sides, patting his hips. “I’ll have all the time in the world.”

This felt like it was quickly spiraling out of control, gesturing to the window. “I believe it might be safe enough to leave at any time.”

An attempt to get things moving back on track. Better still, if they pulled this off, he might be able to shadow him back the way he came and get back to his world. What he couldn’t shake was the severity of the warning the Queen had given him, now that he really thought about it, it crossed his mind the woman could be dangerous. The lack of information made it a hard situation to understand, though it hardly mattered, Zevran would be armed, and he rarely left his sword out of reach, for her safety, if she proved to be dangerous, the options were limited. As much as she tried not to use it, barring her ‘sneaking out’ appearance altering magic, he had learned one night that she could hold her own as well. With the three of them, it was surely not as serious as he was led to believe, and he hadn’t wanted to mention it, but if the Queen herself was unwilling to do anything to free one of their own, there had to be more to it.

Aithne wasted little time peering out the window to check for guards. There were none to be seen, likely on the other side of the massive castle, taking the opportunity to climb out while she could, making a straight line for the trees, ducking down while she waited for the others to join her. Cullen followed next, almost anxious at how far away she had gotten from him, a side effect of having to ensure her safety all this time. Zevran dropped down last, casually strolling over to join them as if he didn’t have a single care on his mind, humming quietly to himself, following their lead this time. His part didn’t begin until they arrived, and so he felt content to let them make the path to the village.

The trail felt shorter tonight than it had before, though he couldn’t say why she would abandon concern for the sake of arriving faster, it made him nervous. That same hesitation ran through her as they reached the edge of the village, though she fought it quicker this time, stepping away from the safety of the trees. Zevran and Cullen spoke in private for a short time before they joined her, a contingency plan to keep her out of suspicion in case they drew attention while he was busy. Zevran made his way to the cage, kneeling down, his hand fumbling for his equipment, eyeing the lock for a moment before he began to work. Cullen gently pulled her off to the side, blocking her from view, in case someone happened by.

“Might as well get comfortable, the way I heard it, he couldn’t actually pick locks before. Maybe he improved.” He joked.

Aithne muffled a giggle, and it made him feel a little better about the situation. He glanced over his shoulder, still working at it, his face set in determination, though he could hear cursing under his breath. Her attention focused the other way, breath catching as she seen movement, someone coming towards them, tugging on his sleeve, he noticed too, hissing urgently to the Crow.

“Hurry, we have company…”

He grunted under his breath, shaking his head. “It’s a tough one. Take care of her, if they get to me, I’ll deal with that first.”

Cullen cringed, the idea seemed almost wrong in his mind, and yet, it had seemed they had little choice. If the figure drew close enough to see her, what she was, they would be in some trouble, and if she made it back in one piece, he would certainly be in trouble for getting her into it. Framed like that, there was little choice, it was either risking his life and hers, or take the suggestion of a dubious elf with a checkered past and bear a little shame for it.

“I’m sorry…” he mumbled to her.

“For what?” she asked.

“This…” he said, his words coated in nervous tension.

His hands reached to cover her ears, leaning in, cutting away her breath with an unexpected kiss. It had to look natural, and at least, in his mind, it was convincing enough, perhaps just two humans out late at night when the moment had struck, finding it difficult to close his eyes _and_ maintain awareness. The sound of the lock popping open caught her ears, and an angry shout was heard, the footsteps echoing faster. His voice gurgled away quickly, though she couldn’t bring herself to look, knowing what she would see if she did.

“He’s dead you know; you can stop at any time.” He teased.

Cullen broke away at that, his cheeks flushed a light pink, his hand reaching for the back of his neck nervously. She stayed silent, distracted for a moment before she moved towards the opened cage, convincing herself not to look to the ground. Walking in, she looked to the woman, frowning slightly, something wasn’t right, and while she couldn’t place it, she backed away slowly. Zevran and Cullen rushed to her side, concerned, when the sound of laughter distracted them. Turning in unison, barely able to register the strange rush of energy moving towards them, too late to get out of the way, the only hope was that it wouldn’t be fatal. Cullen’s vision blackened, and had he some way to experience it through the eyes of the others, he would know it was the same for both of them as well.

 _“Maker, help us…”_  his last conscious thought…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea behind the kiss was that he doesn't think he has those kind of feelings for her, but it was the easiest way to keep her safe. In truth, however, Zevran probably served as the bigger distraction.


	5. Inquisition Reborn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen imagined he has perished, but the truth of the matter is far more complicated then he thinks.

_“Tell me about the Inquisitor again?” Aithne begged._

_She sat forward, giving him her full, rapt attention, clutching Socks tightly to her chest. Cullen couldn’t help but chuckle at the reaction, he knew he didn’t have Varric’s gift for storytelling, but if nothing else, they were enough to make her happy, and that smile made it all worthwhile. Cullen gently nudged her side, as if asking her to scoot over, to which she obliged, reaching for his arm when he sat by her._

_“I first met her long before she was the Inquisitor. Not the most glamorous of meetings, but I first saw her in the dungeons, a prisoner. It was hard for her, I realize that now, but she took to her responsibilities with an ease none expected. What would you like to hear about?” he asked, smiling._

_“What was the place you said our castle was like?” she asked, straining to remember the name._

_“The Winter Palace. I can’t say much about it; I wasn’t following her. It seems the night ended with an attempt on her life in the courtyard, and despite the nobles frowning on her heritage, she managed to charm the courts with ease, and in doing so, made it impossible for the Empress to not listen to her warnings. Lavellan spent the night gathering evidence of guilt, saved Orlais, and perhaps all of Thedas…” he said._

_Amber-toned eyes slid shut as if vividly capturing memories of that night in his mind again. Not her, she had taken up with Solas, the one who ultimately had played a part in events from the beginning, and with his departure, had stolen not just her heart, but her arm as well, and left in place of that a burning anger in her heart that hadn’t been there before._

_“I’m glad you’re here, Cullen. You make things less sad here.” She murmured sleepily, slumping against his shoulder._

_“Were they sad before I arrived?” he wondered._

_He had so rarely seen the girl without a smile, it was hard to imagine anything could make her sad, could shatter that always bright appearance she held onto._

_“Very sad. I remember my mom saying Brennan was gone, and then, she cried every night, locked me in here at nights, and I couldn’t go anywhere anymore. Everyone was sad, and I didn’t know why, but it made me sad too. That’s why I couldn’t leave you, it would have made me even sadder…” she tried to explain._

_It was hard to believe a girl so young could seem so thoughtful, and it wasn’t just that, but the kind way she treated everyone, even the servants who tended the castle. It was as if it truly didn’t matter to her who anyone was, that they had a life beyond what they did there. Were she any other girl, he might not have thought much about her, but he wanted only the best for her, it sounded like her life had already been hard, how could she not deserve a good life?_

_A good life? How could he give her that now, when he had no idea what had happened, where they were, if they even still lived. Perhaps they had all perished, and this was just the echoes of his last thoughts while he faded away from the tenuous bindings holding him until they inevitably snapped away and the last of ‘Cullen’ would disappear, replaced by whatever nonsense happened to someone after they died. There was light, more than he thought he could bear, and he braced for something to occur._

_No, this was all wrong, he knew this place, knew exactly where he was. If this was what was waiting for him, he couldn’t say that he was excited about it. Cullen brushed a hand through his hair, shorter than it had been in a long time, Aithne insisted he grow it out so she could practice braids, and he had, strangely enough, been more than willing to indulge her. He felt along his face, smoother too, and the absence of many of the new scars he had acquired told him he had somehow delved back in time._

“There you are, Cullen. There’s an emergency, you might want to look into it…” a woman’s voice called to him.

_He knew that gruff voice, it was the voice of the Seeker, Cassandra. This was so wrong, he had somehow been sent back to Haven, not long before he would meet the Inquisitor, Herald of Andraste, in the dungeons after she would be hauled to the dungeon._

“Of course, I’ll go right away…” he muttered distractedly.

“I haven’t told you where to go, are you feeling alright?” Cassandra asked.

“I heard someone mention there was a prisoner in the dungeons, yes?” he hurriedly tried to cover up his error.

“Yes…she’s unconscious now, but she should be awake soon enough. The Apostate has been tending to her, he is confident she’ll be alright.” She reviewed.

Cullen brushed her off, more concerned as to whether or not Aithne had also shown up here. The three were hit together, if he was here, it would make sense that both her and Zevran should have arrived as well, unless they had been…Zevran, he wasn’t terribly worried about but her, if anything happened to her, well, he supposed her mother wouldn’t be able to touch him from here, but he was more than a little concerned for her safety. He hardly recalled the trip to the dungeons, coming to a stop when he reached the one Lavellan had been held in before. Far too dark in, the only lights being the foundering flames of the torches scattered around, and the glaring flicker of the mark on her hand. They hadn’t been particularly close, but at the very least, it was a relief to see that, a sign that she once more had her arm.

His face twisted in disgust at the sight of the apostate at her side, holding her hand as he tried to stifle the magic of the mark. He couldn’t rightly say anything about it now, everything he heard before seemed to indicate that without him there, she would surely die. It pained him to let it go so easily, but he had to try and stick to the way things had gone, he had read stories that said events like this had to go exactly the same or things would change, and while it sounded like the kind of foolish, made up thing used to scare people, he couldn’t shake the feeling that was the right thing to do – for now, anyway.


	6. A Safe Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Speculation occurs, and Cullen talks Cassandra into letting him take charge of the interrogation.

Cullen knelt outside the bars, straining to look in, still expecting to see the slumped over figure of Lavellan on the other side. Solas raised a finger to his lips, a silent sign to tell him to stay quiet so she could rest, and despite everything, he did. He frowned when he made out only one detail, hair that resembled a brightly burning fire, tinged in reds, oranges and yellows. He didn’t have to see her face to know this was only getting worse as far as how wrong it was going. The softly flowing curls told him everything he needed to know, it was _not_ Lavellan after all, but Aithne, and the urge to try and rouse her to consciousness had to be restrained. His hand squeezed into a fist, turning away, walking out slowly. It would be several days from now before she awoke, frightened by Cassandra’s interrogation, and lost as to what she would have to deal with now. His heart rose to his throat and his stomach dropped, hoping that if things had changed this much, that they would continue to do so, he had been glad of his retirement, even when it didn’t go as planned.

Cullen leaned against the wall near the stairs, palming his face. If things stayed mostly the same, there was no way to prepare for what would happen to her. Could he at least warn her not to get close to the elven man without changing too much? Could he spare her the interrogation by at least offering up basics, and would Cassandra even believe that she wasn’t the one responsible for the explosion at the Conclave? Who was he kidding, none of this was how it was meant to be, and it was hurting him deeply to have to hold it in. He had to try, even without knowing if there would be consequences or what they might be. He strode into the Chantry to find the Seeker, surprised to see her and Leliana both engaged in deep conversation with, of all people, Zevran.

“What brings you here?” Leliana asked pleasantly, actually smiling.

It was unsettling to see her so cheerful, hanging back to try and listen in. “Ahh, Nightingale. I was passing through, when I overheard you have a lovely elven woman in your dungeons.”

“That’s correct, but I can’t recommend you visit. She’s not even conscious.” She told him, somewhere between scolding and joking.

“That isn’t what I’m here for. I know this woman, and I can assure you her presence here is nothing more than fortuitous timing.” He said with a shrug.

“I will be the judge of that, not you.” Cassandra interjected.

Cullen took that moment to step out of his hiding spot, as though he had just come in. Gesturing to Cassandra, then to Zevran, he nodded.

“I couldn’t help but overhear on my way in. I’ve been to the dungeons and I’ve seen her in person, I know her as well, from Kirkwall, she’s a mage, but she’s not capable of this, her skills are very limited. Name’s Aithne, and she’s a very kind girl, no trouble at all.” He tried to explain without sounding too defensive.

Cassandra glared between the two men, eyeing them suspiciously. It seemed too coincidental, and yet, as far as she knew, they moved in different circles, barely acquainted, the odds of them collaborating to try and see her released with this much at stake seemed unlikely. The Commander had his problems, but he was possibly the most honest and loyal among the number at Haven. Leliana appeared to know Zevran well, having heard some about her travels with the Warden, and the Nightingale was trustworthy as well.

“Fine, if you’re certain she’s no danger, I will forgo the shackles and try a gentler approach.” Cassandra relented huffily.

“Actually…I had hoped you might let me speak with her, I believe she would speak to me…” Cullen mumbled nervously.

Josephine seemed to manifest out of nowhere, barely able to contain a smile. Not one for speculation for the most part, she couldn’t resist.

“Commander, is this woman perhaps an old flame?” she teased.

Intending to deny it quickly, the sudden leering looks he received from the others had him nervous. There had never been anything between them like _that_ , well, aside from the kiss. Even if he had felt that way for her, he had to imagine that she wouldn’t feel the same for him, but he could hardly tell them that. His lips felt suddenly dry, his tongue nervously poking out to swipe over them, his hand reaching for the back of his neck, trying to decide on the best course of action.

“Maker, it _is_ an old flame…” Cassandra mumbled in disbelief.

Zevran brought his hand to his mouth, muffling a throaty chuckle, noting the rising blush in his cheeks. “That kind of look tells me you like her, but you’re ashamed to admit it. My, what an interesting turn of events.”

He glared in his direction, silently threatening him. The first thing she should learn upon waking was where she was, not some nonsense about her suddenly being thought of as a lover of his, and if that did get out, surely it would only drive a wedge between them. He had worked tirelessly to assure her safety and happiness and this, this would only hinder it.

“She’s not like that!” he protested irritably.

“I see, I see. You liked her, but she didn’t like you. That’s a shame.” Zevran teased. “Well, there’s no telling how quickly a woman’s mind can change.”

That would have been a fine sentiment had it not been followed by a wink that made him shudder in revulsion. Maker’s breath, that was the look of a predator, but he couldn’t seriously be thinking about it, could he? If nothing else, that just added to the list of dangers he should find a way to warn her about.

“Anyway, if I could just be the one to talk to her…” he reiterated.

“Alright, Commander, but if you can’t get anything of use out of her, I will have no choice but to speak with her myself. Whether or not she was involved, the people here expect some measure of justice, and if we can’t deliver that, there could be trouble.” Cassandra warned him sternly.

“I…thank you, I will be sure to get whatever you need from her.” He swore.

What if he couldn’t deliver on that, what if the situation itself was so confusing for her that she couldn’t process it? Either way, if it went the same as before, he had a few days to prepare what he should say to her, what he could say that would be sufficient but not too much, something that might be too much change to the events. There were a lot of things he wished he could change, that he realized he would have to make happen, such as siding with the mages over the Templars, he would have to encourage her towards the idea of siding with them, knowing from the reports that would mean being thrust into a terrifying version of the future. He couldn’t go with her, and he would have to rely on a mage from Tevinter to keep her safe, as well as letting her spend time with the one person putting her at the most risk.

Whoever that woman in the cage was, he was sure that she was the cause of this situation. He wished he knew what specifically she had done, so he could try and find a way to undo it and return her to safety. Cullen would willingly relive this all by himself if it would ensure she would never have to experience this.


	7. Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aithne has woke up, and Cullen visits to tell her what he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Admittedly, I'm not the best with timelines, but I'm trying to make it less of a holy hell, you just screwed up a fixed point in time, and more, well, you fudged it a little, but it's probably fine.

Cullen tried to recall the things he had done up until their first official meeting, doing as he was instructed, while quietly awaiting to hear that she had awakened. It was frustrating, the first time he had lived this, it was nothing to wait, to keep busy, his mind too full of planning and work that he had little time for anything else. Now, it was too much of a challenge to separate himself from his previous duties, finding more and more that he was still concerned for the girl, and that he still had yet to figure out how to explain the situation to her in a cautious way. He leaned against the outer wall of the chantry for a moment, palming his face with a heavy breath, at the very least, the cold air felt pleasant, even the slight sting accompanying every breath felt good today. The one good thing he could think of, that he desperately hoped he wouldn’t have to do again, it had been awfully close to two decades since he last touched lyrium, and while he still found himself with occasional nightmares, they weren’t nearly as bad. It was the thing he wanted to avoid this time around, if possible, if not, well, he hoped he had the strength and support it had taken to stop last time.

“Commander.” A voice called to him.

He didn’t need to look to know just who it was, the voice so familiar by now, he had to fight the urge to lash out immediately. Solas, strangely enough, this hadn’t happened before, and he couldn’t figure out what he might have to say.

“What?” he asked with a heavy sigh.

“The girl, she’s awake now. Cassandra instructed me to find you when she did.” He answered quietly.

Cullen slowly pushed himself upright, offering a curt nod in place of an answer. Taking a deep breath, he swept his hand through his hair, unruly curls becoming disheveled. Shaking his head, he made his way to meet with her, glancing around to make sure no one had decided to follow out of curiosity. Despite his denials, they still believed she was his lover, and he was simply trying to hide it, and the matters he needed to discuss weren’t fit for other ears. Stopping in front of the room, he entered quickly, looking around one last time before he quietly closed the door behind him. It was good to see her awake, though she looked weak, as she had when her sickness had flared up in the past, and he wondered, if she had to live Lavellan’s past, if she would fare better in her health as a result? It was unlikely, but it would be one less thing they – she, had to worry about.

Taking a seat by the edge of the bed, his attention went from her face, to her hand, flickering, the slight intake of breath saying it hurt, though she was a tough girl, not one to show her pain so easily. Hesitating, he reached for her hand, looking it over in silence, this wasn’t her past, and he doubted she would even remember him as a result. The sound of her voice, the things she said quickly put it out of his mind, enough to make his chest feel a little tight.

“Cullen…I’m scared… I don’t know what’s happening.” She admitted weakly. “I wish Socks was here too…”

His thumb brushed the side of her hand slowly, trying to calm her down even a little. “I’m sorry he’s not. I’m here though, I hope that’s enough.”

Struggling to sit up, she nodded with a smile. “You’ll protect me, won’t you?”

He mirrored her nod, turning his attention to the door. It had to be now, he had to come up with something to tell her that would make sense.

“You’re in – “he began.

“Thedas, that much I know. I had a dream, maybe it was a vision, I’m not sure. It said ‘darkness has crawled into your life, to combat the danger, you must remember.” She mumbled, her fingers gently brushing her temple.

“Yes but that isn’t all. This is my past, and this time, Lavellan is… is you, I suppose. I can’t say much; I’m worried I’ll say something to disturb the future. Look, in short, no matter what, you _must_ do things as they were before.” He warned her.

“Maybe that’s what I was supposed to remember? The stories you told me about her? But you never told me all of it, what am I supposed to do, you can’t tell me now, right?” she asked.

Varric had written a book, if she perhaps ‘accidentally’ found it…no, that was out too, that had happened after the fall of Corypheus, and this was long before that time, it wouldn’t exist yet. Not to mention, there was sure to be things that happened that were never in the reports that he had missed. Maker’s breath, there was also _that_ moment, she would have to learn to play cards at some point as well to ensure _that_ moment would happen, and he had nothing but shame then, knowing at some point she would have to see him like that. That reminded him, he had to tell her what had been said to Cassandra so she wouldn’t mess up the story and make her suspicious.

“Aithne...the condition of me being here is that I’m supposed to collect information from you. I had to lie about how we know each other.” He tried to explain.

“What did you say?” she wondered, sounding rather interested instead of angry.

“I told them I knew you from Kirkwall. I suppose that you’ll have to go by Lavellan, I’m not sure how this works. Aithne Lavellan, alright?” he instructed.

Her head tilted to the side, her eyes blinking slowly. “That sounds awfully close to Leweilun. I’m not entirely sure it isn’t basically the same thing, except that I’m not from here…” she thought out loud.

Cullen fell silent at that, it was a good point, very interesting to think about. Frowning, he had to be honest, he couldn’t keep it from her in case it was brought up around her. “Also, I…may have somehow given them the impression that we were lovers, or that you rejected me…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

Aithne leaned closer, squeezing his hand gently, her eyes fixed on his. “Would you prefer I give them that impression, would that help you at all?”

His face felt hot, looking away. It wasn’t proper for such a thought to make him blush, the guilt he felt over such an idea had shamed him. Undoubtedly, it _might_ make things easier, and yet, it didn’t make it any easier for him personally. At the same time, if it kept the apostate and the thief away from her, maybe it was for the best, he didn’t particularly want her to get hurt emotionally either, though that much had had been told he would be excused from. The Queen insisted Aithne was strong of heart, and if he had to hurt her feelings, he wouldn’t be blamed for that, only if she came to physical harm.

“It would, yes. Though your main focus should be doing what you need to so you can survive this and I can get you home.” He said.

Aithne didn’t feel like protesting that point. From what she recalled, this was going to be a hard enough time, and while she had been eager to see his world with him, this much time, spent in such a way was sure to make her more than ready to leave as soon as she could.

“What am I supposed to say? Should I say anything?” she asked.

He gently squeezed her hand once more before letting go, patting her head lightly, something she had said calmed her when she was afraid. “I’ll handle it. Rest up a bit more, you should remember what comes next, right?”

Sighing, she nodded again, rolling to her side for comfort. “Yes…”


	8. To The Breach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aithne, Cassandra and Zevran head towards the Breach with the goal of sealing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this isn't to my usual standards, this is my first time trying for a specific deadline, and I took a few days off.

Cassandra stood before him, her arms folded expectantly. “Did the girl tell you anything of use?”

Cullen fought back his nervousness, not one for telling lies normally, though he had learned enough to not give away that he was doing so. Nodding affirmatively, he cleared his throat. “Yes. Aithne Lavellan, she lived on her own in the Free Marches, no family to speak of. I don’t believe she was responsible for the explosion; it seems like an unfortunate case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Why was she here then, she didn’t just _happen_ to be at the Conclave.” Cassandra replied doubtfully.

“Looking for— “he took a deep breath. “She was looking for me, heard this was where I was, and no doubt was looking for someone who could direct her to me.

Josephine and Leliana exchange quiet giggles, glancing at each other with no attempt to hide their grins. “Knew it.” They told each other.

Cassandra huffed irritably, waving her hand. “Fine. I believe you, but don’t think I’m not going to be keeping an eye on her anyway.”

Sighing to himself, he relaxed finally, glad that he hadn’t been called out on his dishonesty. Cassandra gestured to the door, walking away, narrowly avoiding Zevran on her way.

“She’s awake now, Solas believes she can close the breach with the mark, and we can’t wait any longer. Go ahead of us and clear a path, Cullen. Take Varric and Solas as well, Leliana, you go ahead as well, people will be upset if I show up with her without any warning.” She said, waving everyone off.

“I’d like to go with, if you don’t mind.” Zevran said pleasantly.

He met the look of disgust Cullen directed towards him with a smile. When Cassandra relented, he left with her to meet with the girl, the others leaving for their designated locations, Cullen needed to stop in the yard anyway to gather a few soldiers to clear the way for Aithne. So help him, if the assassin touched even one hair on her head when he returned, he would have words with him, those stories he heard were awful, and he had spent enough time around her to know that she wasn’t that type of woman. That thought made him frown a little bit, she was no longer the little girl clinging to her bear, but a woman who was more than capable of attracting the wrong kind of attention. It was far simpler when the only thing he had to worry about was making sure no one tried to kill her and keep her out of trouble.

The door opened and Aithne sat up, backing away slightly when the woman approached her. She looked frightening, not in a monstrous way, but in a way she couldn’t explain, perhaps it was the scar across her cheek, the sword at her side and the perpetually angry look she bore that made her concerned she might try to hurt her, and honestly, now would be the perfect time, she wasn’t conventionally experienced in combat in the same way as Cullen, or even Zev, had she been so inclined, it wouldn’t be hard to kill her right now. She stalked closer, stopping at the edge of the bed, holding her arm out, her face still set in anger.

“Do you need help, can you stand alright?” she asked.

It surprised her to hear such a thing, Cullen had always told her she was reliable, but a little grumpy for the most part, sometimes tough for others to get along with. Cautiously, she reached out, taking a hold of her hand, pulled up with ease, the woman presented her with a dagger, shrugging hopelessly.

“Cullen said you were a mage, but that you hadn’t developed it completely yet, this should do for now.” She explained.

Aithne examined herself, trying to figure out where to put it, her outfit having no place for it, she held onto it with a quiet sigh. “May…I ask why you’re helping me?”

Cassandra turned away, waving her to follow, the matter becoming more urgent with each passing second. “Cullen told us you could be trusted, I trust him, so I am willing to give you a chance. If you cross me, it will be a different matter, for now, I will withhold personal judgments.”

Aithne was surprised that he had done that for her, though at the same time, not really, he had taken very good care of her for years, and he had given no indication that it would end here because of what had happened, a fact that she was grateful for. The village began to disappear from view, her hand hurting more and more the closer they got to the strange hole in the sky. Creatures stalled their path, and Cassandra flew down the bank, lifting her shield, instructing her while she fought.

“Come here, this will help you get familiar with that dagger, try to predict how it will attack and move away from it.” She said.

Aithne stared at the weapon, the range would be very short, and that meant putting herself in the way of harm on purpose. It was a frightening thought, both her mother and Cullen had both went to great lengths to protect her, and without that, the thought that she could get hurt was hard to get past. Zev caught up with them, and he smiled, nudging her arm, directing her to watch the way he held his blades. She mimicked his pose, slipping down the bank, her hand shaking slightly as she swiped at the monster, barely grazing it, pulling back nervously as it lashed out.

“My lady, you have to strike with intent. It is not a bunny, you’re not trying to hug it, it will hurt you, so you must hurt it first to survive.” Zev told her.

Hurting anything was something she had never done on purpose, but he had a point, it was not a cute thing that could be a pet, it was a dangerous creature intent on ending her life, an outcome she was meant to avoid. Squeezing her eyes shut, she struck hard, feeling the blade dig a path through, the feeling unpleasant to her, hesitantly opening one eye, noticing he had assisted from the opposite side, the strange creature dropping under their combined assault. She pulled the dagger free, her head dipping slightly in silent thanks, picking up the pace to keep up with the Seeker.

“Hey…Zev?” she began quietly, unsure how to ask. “C…could you maybe teach me how to be better at this? When there’s time, I mean…”

He grinned widely, keeping his eyes on the path ahead, pretending to think it over, though he already knew what he had in mind to say. “I suppose I could. You owe me a favor in exchange, however. Fair is fair, my lady.”

Aithne nodded, unsure what he might ask for, but it was high time she learn to protect herself, at least a little, so she wouldn’t have to be concerned every time she had to fight, and based on Cullen’s stories, there would be plenty of that to come, and not long to prepare for it.

“Alright…that does seem like a fair trade…” she mumbled.

“Stay focused back there, these demons won’t stop what they’re doing just because you want to talk.” Cassandra scolded.


	9. New Beginnings

Aithne awoke back in Haven, startled by the presence of someone in her room, scrambling back in surprise.

“I…I’m sorry, who are you, what do you want?” she mumbled curiously.

She wasn’t used to the way people seemed to so casually appear in her space, and being honest, if she had to wake up to anyone in her room, she would have preferred Cullen, the only one she was familiar with enough to be alright with that. The woman looked up at her as if worried she would be struck blind, an apologetic look on her face, explaining that she was sorry, and that she had said the wrong thing, but in her mind, it wasn’t at all what she said that had caused her concern.

“Seeker Pentaghast wanted to see you right away, she’s at the chantry, please, excuse me!” she mumbled, dashing out.

That was odd, something she would prefer to not become a common occurrence, though it had been impressed upon her that she had to do things as close to how they happened the first time as possible, and she felt like she was doing alright so far. Now that she was alone, she got out of bed, heading for the door, further uncomfortable with what she saw just outside. It looked like everyone in Haven had gathered outside, her pace slow, nervous, wondering why they were talking about her, though the title was a familiar one. Cullen had spent many nights bribing her to sleep with tales of the Herald of Andraste, later on the Inquisitor, but this had to be how it happened, the girl in her room said the Breach wasn’t closed, but was at least not spreading anymore, and the lack of strong pain in her hand told her that was definitely true.

She kept her head down, picking up her pace to the chantry. She had said before that if Cullen was the only human she got to meet, she’d never know how to act when she got to his world, and it was true. There were so many here, and she had no idea what to say, or how to act, and the idea that any one of them might want to hurt her was in the back of her mind. Aithne entered the building, heading for the sounds of arguing, quietly opening the door, sneaking in. Cassandra argued with the man in the room, and while she understood both sides, she had no idea what was actually happening, this was unlike anything she had experienced in her world. Either way, it made the man unhappy, and he left, she turned her attention to her hands, left alone once again with Cassandra and the red-haired woman.

“I’m sorry, but I have no idea what’s going on…” she admitted quietly.

“That’s alright. Essentially, yes, we have reformed the Inquisition, and that means a few things, which you will learn in time. For now, your part will be recruiting people where you can, with the goal of completely closing the Breach when we have the power to accomplish that. “she tried to explain.

 Ultimately, as long as she did her best to replicate what happened before, that was alright, wasn’t it? The door opened, summoning her from her thinking, Josephine and Cullen filing in, shifting around the table, her eyes instinctively wandering to him for comfort, her expression returned as he smiled slightly at her, his way of saying that it was alright, and she was safe. It might seem strange, but their time together had culminated in the two of them being able to communicate with looks and gestures, for times when words either couldn’t or shouldn’t be exchanged.

“Herald, you already know Cullen, and you’ve surely seen the others around, in case you don’t know their names…” she paused, gesturing to the other women in turn. “This is Josephine Montilyet, and Leliana.”

They exchanged glances, biting back smiles as they looked to her. It was confusing, but she imagined it had to do with what she was told about being lovers with him, and perhaps they found it amusing that they were in the same room together? Humans were so strange, much more than she could have possibly prepared for, and it was very confusing for her to realize that Cullen was turning out to be the most normal of all. Josephine beamed, a nice smile that made her look lovely, a kind and warm look, betrayed by what she said next.

“This is a lot to process for one day, why don’t we let her rest, I’m sure our Commander can help her adjust.” She said with a giggle.

Cassandra was dismayed at the suggestion, but gave up, waving her off. “Take the rest of the day off, we’ll pick this up tomorrow, I’m sure a little rest would help, you need to be at your best.”

Aithne turned around, her cheeks flushed in embarrassment, leaving quickly. Even with the warning he had given her, she hadn’t expected this kind of reaction, she had no idea what was so funny about it. They had provided her with a small room, and that was her destination, her room always a source of comfort and safety before, this one would surely be the same as that. Shortly after she arrived, the door opened, Cullen closed the door, apologetic in appearance, he sighed, sweeping his hand along the back of his neck.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think they would say anything about it. You must blame me.” He sighed.

“No, it’s fine.” She mumbled, patting the edge of her bed.

Cullen took a seat, feeling her lean against his shoulder, her arms folding around his. She liked that even here, he didn’t pull away from her, and it was soothing, her brow resting in the fur on his shoulder, finally calmed enough to laugh after a short time.

“Haha, so, just out of curiosity, what do you think they imagine happened? Am I just a casual acquaintance, or do they believe it was serious. On a scale of lady of the night to almost married, how intense were we?” she laughed.

He actually had to think about it. Based on the giggling whenever they were in the same room together, surely it must have been physical in their minds, but was it serious? They didn’t know her like he did, but he thought they knew him, and had considered him not the type for something without meaning. He rested his head against hers for just a second, the smell of roses still in her hair, though far fainter than it used to be. She didn’t move, comfortable like this, and it distracted him from the initial question.

“I suppose I’d say girlfriend? Or pretty close anyway, maybe.” He finally answered.

The door opened again, and Zev walked in, her focus turning to him. He seemed at ease despite the current situation, tilting his head, raising an eyebrow questioningly. “I hear you have the day off, and I wondered if you wanted to get to work now, or later?”

“Oh, that’s right. Is it alright if I meet you in a bit?” she asked.

“I think that would be fine. It’ll give me time to consider what I should ask for in return.” He said with a grin.

He turned to excuse himself, whistling as he left. Cullen looked to her in confusion, saying nothing at first, unsure what to say. Aithne wanted to clarify what he was talking about, in an effort to smooth things over.  “Zevran is going to teach me to use the dagger Cassandra gave me.”

“Let me guess, he wants something from you, but he didn’t tell you earlier what wanted?’ he asked.

“Yeah, how did you know?” she wondered out loud.

Cullen shook his head, leaning his head on hers again, content to relax a little longer before she had to leave. She squeezed his arm with a frown, trying to press him for information.

“Something is on your mind, what’s wrong?” she asked insistently.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to be alone with him for too long, that’s all.” He said.

She laughed quietly, closing her eyes. “Cullen, are you jealous?” she teased.

“No.” he quickly denied it. “I’m trying to keep you safe, that’s what you said you wanted right?” he asked.

“Gods, yes.” She sighed. “You have no idea how bad it felt without you around. I’m not sure I’m cut out for this fighting thing…”

He had to laugh, a rare sound that she had always enjoyed, a sure sign he was happy. “Are you sure you want to learn how to use a dagger? If you’re really concerned, I could teach you how to use a sword, and even better, I won’t ask for anything in return.”

It was said as a joke, but he could tell she was lending it serious consideration. “Shield too, or no deal.”

He hadn’t planned on her agreeing, but now that she had, he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. Not only that, but there was the risk of accidentally hurting her, and time constraints as well. She would soon be busier, and there wouldn’t be much time left for training, but at least it would be more defensible than a little knife.

“Are you alright with late nights? You’ll be busy, and I’ll be busy, and night time would be about it…” he warned her.

“Isn’t that basically what we’ve always done? Late nights together, I mean. Except with less swords and more sneaking out to wander the woods.” She said.

“You make a fair point.” He agreed. “Then I will be here, whenever you’re ready.”


	10. A Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen has a conversation with Varric, makes a decision and retrieves a gift for Aithne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is probably not as clean as I meant it to be. Either way, things aren't about to go perfectly.

Aithne was gone. Gone with Solas, Zevran and Cassandra to find Mother Giselle in the Hinterlands. Cullen had carved out the time from training to see to the reports for the day, Varric coming to a stop beside him, disinterested in the forms in his hand, he attempted to make conversation, not the first time, of course, they had a passing acquaintance, and the dwarf had tried on a number of occasions to find a talking point with him.

“You know; I never took you for a man with a lot to say.” He said.

Cullen didn’t look up, focused on the sheet in his hand. “You’re right, I’m not.”

Varric didn’t let the quick dismissal deter him from trying again. “What’s the real story. With the girl, I mean. I’ve never seen you spend that much time around anyone unless you had to.”

There it was, he knew it was heading for this topic. At the very least, he was asking for clarification and not coming to his own conclusions based on rumors. “Aithne is a good girl. I’ve known her for a very long time, and so it’s only normal to be around people you know.”  

Why was it so important to everyone that there was something between them? She was practically a child, and he had a duty to protect her…except that wasn’t really it either. She was grown now, and she had to learn to get by without relying on him to keep her safe all the time, sure that was a bit sad to think about, but it wasn’t as though she was leaving and never coming back. History was repeating and that meant they had at least a few more years together before they would need to decide if she wanted to return or…no, of course she would, there was no reason for her to stay here, this was his world, and he could already tell she didn’t like it. So that was it, she’d go back, and things would…they’d be lonely, who was he trying to fool?

“Cullen, are you still here?” he asked.

“Excuse me?” he mumbled, snapping out of it.

“I asked if there was more to it than that.” He repeated.

He didn’t remember him asking anything. Of course there wasn’t more to it, she was a friend, and someone he trusted. An altogether kind, gentle and lovely young woman, that was – when did he start noticing how she looked? That didn’t have to mean anything, she _was_ a beautiful lady, strictly an observation.

“It’s more complicated than you realize.” He said honestly.

It wasn’t like he could just tell him everything, that she was from another world, and he was her protector, that they had been sent back to relive this time, all things he couldn’t say. It was very complicated, at least to explain to other people, to him, it was simple.

“Really? It looks to me like you enjoy her company. Have you tried just telling her that much?” he asked.

“She knows. Why should it need to be said?” he wondered.

Varric sighed, kneading his brow. For someone who had so much going for him, he had a lot to learn about life. “If you haven’t told her, give it a try some time, you might be surprised. Be honest with yourself, that’s another thing you’re not doing. Whether you like her or not, you just need to figure it out, and don’t try to rationalize everything.”

He couldn’t focus on the reports any longer, now he was distracted, and that did nothing to help matters. This was something he had to know, without the information, they could be at risk, people were in danger already, and without keeping up on what was happening, fortifications couldn’t be made, patrols wouldn’t be scheduled… Varric did have a fair point. It was time to stop lying to himself, ever since that kiss, he had been thinking of what it would be like, and while he imagined nothing would ever come of it, it had still been hard to deny that, even with it being for her safety, he felt something. Maybe he had a point, there was nothing to be gained from not trying. That settled it for him, when she returned, he would tell her what was on his mind, and he would stick to it, no matter what.

“I really need to get back to these reports. It was...good talking to you.” He said.

Varric wasn’t quite sure where he figured it was a good talk, he hadn’t said as much as he thought he had. Clearly the stresses of the job were weighing on his mind, and perhaps it wasn’t a good time to distract him further. Excusing himself, he returned to his usual point of observation by the wall, trying to guess how long it would be until the Seeker returned. If nothing else, she was amusing in her own way, fun to poke at, and it took little effort to get under her skin, any reaction was better than nothing in his mind.

Without the extra conversation, his thoughts cleared away, able to focus again on what he was doing. It seemed that there was a spot in the gate that needed to be repaired, an increase in patrols was needed to ensure safety, as an increase in bandit activity in the area, but so far, not close enough to need more than monitoring at this point. He finished the reports quickly enough, remembering he had to look into another matter as well, with the blacksmith. Heading down the path, he was glad that the usual small grouping of people who normally stood around weren’t present. Stopping slowly, he cleared his throat, Harritt turning to face him, presenting him with his order.

“As requested, and per your specifications, here you are, Commander.” He said, returning to his work before adding to it. “Is there something wrong with your sword, because if there is, it would have been a simple enough fix.”

Cullen hadn’t expected an interrogation, quickly dismissing it. “No, it’s a name day present for a friend, that’s all. I thought it would make a nice gift.”

“Good choice, it’s functional as well as…uhh…finely designed.” He said.

Shifting his grip on the present, he nodded his thanks as he left. The last thing to figure out was how he wanted this to go, whether it would be better to leave it in her room for her, or to give it to her in person. If he left it, she might not open it right off, but if he waited to hand it to her personally, that might lead to unnecessary speculation, though there had been so much of that, it was becoming commonplace, slowly learning to shrug it off. Frowning, he opened the door to her room, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, leaving the plain package behind long enough to scrawl a quick note, wedging it under the box. She wouldn’t be away long, and at least this way, she’d have something to make it worthwhile for her, something to look forward to, and to let her know that he was taking her seriously, at least in respect to her wishes to learn. In truth, it wasn’t her name day at all, and wouldn’t be for close to a year. Cullen shook his head, leaving the room quickly, closing the door on the way out, he had work to do, and he had used up enough time for one day.


	11. The Princess' Wish

A messenger met with Cullen in the yard, halting training to see to it personally. Aithne had returned, he was told, and he meant to speak with her before he lost his nerve, it had left his stomach in knots trying to prepare for what he would tell her. He wrung his hands, taking a deep breath while he waited for her to come into view, frowning when he saw her. There was blood on the front of her coat, her hand pressed to her side, Zevran’s hand resting over hers, the sight more of a concern than what had to say, instead going to find a healer. His responsibility to keep her safe was more important in his mind, health first, safety next, personal business last. That meant first, seeing to her wounds, then, trying to find a constructive way to keep the assassin away from her, and then…he had work to do, and that was something he couldn’t ignore. Cassandra helped her to sit, Cullen returning with the healer, glaring accusingly towards the Crow.

“My – Aithne, are you alright?” he asked.

“I’ll be alright, Zevran showed me what to do, and I couldn’t do it right, I got hit, I’m sorry…” she sighed apologetically.

He wanted to assure her it wasn’t her fault, but he had to maintain a different level of professionalism here, a fact he was beginning to regret, she had a tough path ahead of her, and he was concerned that if he couldn’t be around in the same capacity that she was used to, he worried she would feel like he was pulling away from her on purpose. The healer carefully lifted her coat enough to see the wound, it was deeper than she let on, and it made him angry, livid as he once more brought his focus to the elven man.

“Could I speak to you for a moment?” he asked, though he was interrupted.

“I thought for sure that you’d want to wait with her.” Cassandra grunted with disgust.

He really wanted to speak with him, though the look on Aithne’s face made him cave in. Standing at her side, he couldn’t look at her, trying to think of what to say. “That looks bad, are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine…” she said, her voice quieter then. “I’m glad to be back…”

“You’ll have a little downtime before you have to leave again, breaks are few and far between, you should take advantage of it when you can.” He told her.

“There you go, Herald, it’s important that you don’t move too much, the wound could reopen.” The healer cautioned her.

“Yes, I understand, thank you so much.” She said politely.

Zevran stepped in, scooping her up with ease, that smug grin on his face as he carried her towards her quarters. Cullen excused himself with a nod before following, waiting until he set her down before he again tried to direct his attention somewhere more private. Zev shrugged, winking at her as he walked back out, walking the path to the edge of the village where they could speak alone.

“How could you do something so stupid, are you insane?” he began.

“It was her choice, she wanted to learn to fight so she could be less of a burden to _you_. No. I’m not insane, I’m helpful, and I believe she was actually proud of herself.” Zev countered.

Cullen furrowed his brow, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. “She said it was to be less of a burden to me? She specifically said those exact words to you?”

He shrugged with a smile. “Could be that she did, I can’t really remember, it’s a shame you weren’t there, you would have heard it for yourself.”

Cullen gripped his collar, yanking him closer, wondering why it bothered him so much. The fact was that it made him furious, how casually he acted, like everything was a joke. “You are a distraction, she has a lot on her shoulders and she doesn’t need you adding to her stresses. If you put her in danger again – “he tried to calm down, taking a quick breath, it didn’t help. “You will not walk out of here.”

It did nothing to get him to take it seriously, raising his fingers to rest under his chin, tilting his head to the side. “Now I see. You’re worried she’ll realize I’m more entertaining and will take to my company, and won’t want to spend any time with you. That’s unfortunate, I’m certain you realize I’m quite irresistible to beautiful women.”

Cullen let go, pushing him back with the force of it, walking away, the only chance he had of calming down. After all, none of this had happened before, and it was already a risk in itself. He couldn’t involve himself in this conversation anymore without endangering everything. “I’d take my warning seriously. Back off, you don’t know what you could trigger.”

He didn’t follow him back, and it filled him with a kind of fire he hadn’t felt before, the kind of feeling that he had managed something that needed to happen without feeling bad about it, only it was something more, a feeling he couldn’t put to proper words. It took time to reach her door again, opening it slowly, so as not to startle her, he expected her to be resting as she was told, instead, she was busy fixing the new sword on her belt, slim fingers tracing the intricate design of the grip. Her gaze fixed on him curiously, smiling just a little, her other hand grasping the note, something that made his mouth feel dry, nervous. Unsure what to expect, his hand went to the back of his neck, struggling to come up with an explanation for it, though she saved him the trouble, setting the paper down, she stepped over to him, reaching for his hands.

Cullen sighed, lazily drawing her closer, resting his head on hers, careful to avoid her side. “I take it you like it?”

Aithne nodded happily. “I hadn’t expected such a fine weapon, and the shield, it’s…well, it’s a little heavy, but that’s good, nice and sturdy.”

That conversation lingered in his mind, supplemented by Varric’s advice. It had to be discussed, he had to know, it was bothering him and that was a distraction as well. “Hey…I want you to know…I enjoy your company, I like being the one you trust to talk to, and you’re not a burden. I do realize that here, I can’t be around to keep you safe, and it is important for you to learn how to keep yourself protected. I don’t want to make you feel like I don’t care, it’s because I care that I’m trying to make this happen for you.”

The reaction was nothing like he pictured, he heard he sudden intake of breath, felt the tension in her shoulders, and then, the soft sound of crying, her breathing shaky in a way he hadn’t heard many times, it startled him. How could it backfire so badly to tell her that he wanted to make sure she was safe?

“I’m sorry, I thought…I suppose that I’ve messed up.” He sighed.

Aithne pulled back slightly, wiping at her eyes, that smile still there. Leaning up to him, she gently pressed a kiss to his cheek, shaking her head. “That’s not it. I was worried that being back meant you didn’t have time anymore. I know this is important, and I will do the best that I can, but…I don’t want that to have to mean not getting to see you as much.”

Cullen knew he wasn’t great with words or expressing feelings clearly, instead, opting to reach for her again, gently squeezing her before letting her go. Somewhere along the line, he had lost the nerve to tell her what he had meant to, that he could no longer see her in the same way he had before. Sighing some, he gestured to the weapon at her side, trying to change the subject, the sudden tension too intrusive for him.

“I had meant to see if you wanted to start tonight, but I’d rather not until you’ve had a chance to rest. This used to be pretty common, by tomorrow it should be fine to move without concerning yourself with opening the wound. Is there anything that would help?” he asked.

There was something, but with so many people around, the idea would surely make him uncomfortable, and only make the teasing worse. She shook her head, though he gave her the usual look he saved for when he knew she wasn’t being honest.

“I thought to ask if you wanted to stay tonight, but I can’t do that to you, people would talk.” She told him.

To others, it might seem strange, but often, when she had a rough night, he would sit with her until she fell asleep and then try to sneak out. Every time, she would wake up just enough to ask him why he was leaving, and he would end up there for the night, inevitably falling asleep against the wall for her sake. It was only natural to want to make her feel better, whatever that meant, and if that’s what would make her night better, it wasn’t too much to ask.

“People already talk; the rumors will only get more out of hand later. I seem to recall there used to be a time when everyone was the Herald’s suspected lover, in fact. So there’s that to look forward to, I guess. What I’m saying is, it would be my honor to stay here tonight, Princess.” He said, bowing with a soft chuckle.

“Thank you, I mean it, really…” she said, a stray sniffle escaping.

Truthfully, the rumors would certainly worsen the moment he walked out of her room the next morning, but it was a small price to pay, in his mind. He had a little more work for the day, but he promised he would come back when his day was done, switching it up to make her think.

“I expect a story, it’s your turn to put me to sleep.” He joked.


	12. A Simpler Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen thinks back to a time long past.

_It had been a long trip, he wanted to see new places before he made any real choice about where to settle down. He knew what he wanted to do, and that was to help others to break free from lyrium as he had managed to do. It all began so simply, stopping to rest in a line of trees, devoid of much in the clearing besides that and a cave. The rains had come suddenly, down pouring mercilessly, he sought shelter in the cave. He intended to go no further, but a strange sound called him to investigate, it sounded like music, though he admitted he could simply have been tired. It was in his exploration that the sound called him to a dead end, the sounds louder, as if somehow he was right next to it, nothing but the cold stone visible. Turning to go back, he couldn’t say what it had been, tripping over something, probably a rock, his balance lost, he tumbled back, falling through to the place that would change his life._

_A year had gone by before he finally learned why he had tumbled in. Aithne had found the whole situation amusing, wondering how it was possible someone existed that didn’t know about it. In her simple way of speaking, she explained that there was a barrier between worlds, and it was particularly thin in places, a story she said she heard from a friend. It had to be Zevran, telling her about the veil, and yet she insisted it wasn’t that. It was nothing like that, but a blessing from someone called Cliodna, a goddess who had kept this world in a protected pocket, hidden from view. Telling her that had to be a story told to her, she shook her head again, making Socks shake his as well._

_“You’re strange. You were meant to come here, there’s a purpose for it, you just don’t know it yet.” She tried to explain._

_“I’m not sure about that. I’m really no one special, there are better people where I’m from, if someone needed help here, they could have made better choices.” He sighed._

_Aithne puffed her cheeks out, finding it hard to believe anyone could be so stubborn. Giving up on trying to explain to him that she had knew it was true, she reached for his hand, pulling him to her room so he could tell her a story, as she tended to like him to do. Eventually, he’d probably run out of things to tell her, and would have to start making them up. Varric had a gift for writing and he had read a few of his books, mostly out of a strange sense of obligation, and he couldn’t retell those, not to such a curious child, he didn’t want to be the one to explain what was going on, and more importantly, he was fairly sure even discussing such violent subject matter would get him in trouble. Besides, he had been in Kirkwall for the events of his tale on Hawke, and he was absolutely certain Orsino never turned into the monster he described. He didn’t want her to learn that making up details was a good thing, she was honest, and it wouldn’t be right to explain that it was fine to stretch the truth in stories._

_“One of these days, you should tell me some stories. If I’m staying here, I should learn what I can.” He said._

_It was a dual purpose suggestion, to learn what he could, and to give her a chance to tell him what she felt was important. It was a long time ago, but he was once a child too, and the one thing he hated was feeling like no one was listening, a theme that seemed to plague him well into adulthood. The idea was apparently quite interesting to her, tugging on his sleeve when she sat down, trying to draw his attention back to her._

_“Can I try tonight? I think I have a story, maybe.” She asked._

_Cullen took a seat in the chair by her bed, smiling. “Sure, let’s hear it.”_

_She took a moment to crawl under the blankets, getting comfortable, trying to decide what to tell him about. She hadn’t done much in her life, but his stories always had heroes, strong women who saved the world, and she had just such a story. Aithne cleared her throat, snuggling closer to Socks, a sense of excitement rushing through her, glad to be able to give him something in return._

_“My mother is a hero here, too! When she was younger, before me and Brennan were born, there was war in this land, and she gathered strong allies from the forests, the elves living in tents in the woods, they fought against the King of the humans, and together, they brought him down, but the previous queen, her mother, died, and she had to take the throne and get married.” She told him._

_He waited patiently for her to continue, but it seemed that was it, accounting for the fact that she was young, he figured she didn’t have a solid grasp on details, but it was coherent enough to get a basic understanding of what she was trying to say. Essentially, the queen had fought for her kingdom and lost her own mother, and probably married out of obligation, a thought that made him realize he had never heard of a King here, just the Queen, he had to wonder where he was, though he avoided asking in case it was a sore subject for her._

_“That was a very good story, thank you for sharing it with me, my lady.” He said politely._

_He didn’t have the heart to tell her it could have had more to it, and that he was actually interested in hearing the finer details of what had happened, and yet, he imagined maybe she didn’t even know the whole story herself, recalling that she said it was before she was born, no way she could have known much about it aside from what she had been told. That and the loss of her brother, and the Queen’s attitude began to make more sense, he was human, and if there was a history of conflict on the level of war on more than one occasion, combined with the death of her only son would be enough to drive lesser people over the edge, and yet she tried to be level and fair, if a bit sharp._

_“Cullen, will you stay with me tonight? It’s easier to sleep if you’re here to keep me safe…” she asked quietly._

_Leaning over, he patted her head gently. “Isn’t that what Socks is for? Are you worried about something?”_

_Aithne nodded slightly. “Sometimes I hear things in my head, and it gets worse at night. Mama says it’s just thoughts and it’s alright, but it’s scary.”_

_It was the first time he had heard her say such a thing, and while it likely was just thoughts and dreams, he couldn’t very well leave her to deal with that by herself. He scooted the chair closer to the bed, the back propped against the wall. She reached for his hand, her expression serious as she closed her eyes in preparation to sleep, huffing out a heavy sigh, heavier than such a small girl should have been capable of._

_“What’s wrong?” he asked._

_“You’re not going to leave, are you? I feel like if I go to sleep, when I wake up, you won’t be here…” she admitted._

_He had intended to go back to his own room when she was asleep, but now that she called him on it, he couldn’t very well let her down. Squeezing her hand lightly, he shook his head with a quiet, slow breath. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”_


	13. Interesting...

Aithne had a busy day ahead of her, the Seeker intended to set off again later in the day, allowing her a reasonable amount of time to recover before putting her through the strain of so much walking. Cullen left early, so used to the old routine by now, he meant to bring her breakfast, frowning seriously when he returned to see that she had company already. The door was cracked slightly, enough to catch a flash of blonde locks, deciding to wait and listen before making a choice as to what to do.

“Fascinating how you manage to retain such beauty first thing in the morning. Most cannot say the same, trust me, I’ve seen many a woman in the morning.” He chuckled.

She brushed her hand through her hair, trying to fix it as best as she was able. Her mind was still cloudy from sleep, though blissfully, the voices had left her in peace, in fact, not since they had arrived had she heard anything of them, and even then only to warn her dangerous events would happen. Falling back again, she groaned sleepily, only half paying attention.

“Is there something I can do for you?” she wondered.

The question was a fine platform to continue his conversation attempt. “I seem to recall you agreeing to offer me something in exchange for my expertise. I have finally decided what I want, and I thought to tell you straight away.”

Cullen had an idea where he was planning to go with it, and if it proved he was indeed about to ask for such a thing, he was prepared to intervene, finding it an improper thing to concern himself with when there were far more important things to deal with, as if the hole in the sky hardly mattered more than an interesting change in scenery. The man was infuriating, and he certainly wished he would just leave, return to running from his former colleagues as usual.

“What did you decide?” she asked with a yawn.

“I thought to ask only for a little of your time. Alone, of course, it’s no fun if there’s interruptions. “he answered.

“I _did_ agree to your terms, if that’s all you want, that’s not a problem. I have business to take care of soon enough though, so I suppose it’s either later today or after I get back, your choice.” She said.

Zev scratched his chin in thought, he already knew his answer to that, but he wanted to keep her wondering. After a time, he shrugged a shoulder coolly. “Today is fine.”

Cullen knocked on the door finally to announce his presence, brushing past the man to set her breakfast down. Pretending not to have noticed him there at all, he crossed his arms loosely, nodding to her in greeting.

“I thought you might be hungry; I didn’t want you to leave on an empty stomach.” He offered in explanation.

She hadn’t missed that he couldn’t look her in the eyes, instinctively realizing her had surely overheard. She kept her head down, picking at the food he had brought, it was nothing like what she was used to back home, but it could always be much worse, and admittedly, she felt like she was starving. Glancing to the assassin, her voice was quiet, her words softly spoken and measured with careful thought, not forgetting his warning to avoid being alone with him for too long.

“I need a few moments, I’ll speak with you shortly, if that’s alright?” she said.

Zevran smiled, nodding as he made his leave, pausing long enough to add in one last statement. “It’ll give me time to decide what we’ll do.”

Cullen watched him leave from the small window, turning his focus back to her. Aithne expected him to be upset that she had agreed to do the one thing he had cautioned her against, though he said nothing at first, and when he did, it wasn’t about him at all. “I hear you’ll be away for a few days. When the times comes, you’ll have to go to Orlais, and I wish I could say more to prepare you for it, but that’s one thing I only read from the reports, I’m sorry. I’m not doing a very good job, am I?”

“No, it’s not on you. This is something I have to do, and you’re doing what you can to help, I just don’t know that I’m qualified to do these things, I’m no hero, I’m barely good at being a princess.” She laughed.

He had to chuckle at that statement as well. Alice had told her she had a duty to herself, her family and her kingdom to learn how to be a good leader, because someday she wouldn’t be around and that she would be Queen, a task she had to be prepared for. He knew very well that she had a list of things she was meant to do, from studying to learning rites and processes, all of which she had skillfully avoided in favor of dragging him along for ‘adventures’ often just places around the castle that were of interest to her, most often to the garden. He had to give her some credit though, certain things did interest her and she devoted a lot of her time to learning what she could about them. She had a fascination with plants, and could easily point out everything needed to either cure or kill someone. The girl was ultimately purer than one might assume, as in one case an elven woman infiltrated by pretending to be on the staff, and had taken the time to tend to her wounds before she urged her to get out while she had the chance to do so, as her mother would find no mercy for her.

“Cullen…” she said.

“My lady, what’s on your mind?” he asked.

“I told you already, weren’t you listening?” she questioned.

Aithne reached a hand towards him, her touch light, pressed to his brow curiously. He didn’t feel like he had a fever, only that he looked very tired, like he had scarcely found the time to sleep. He reached for her hand, holding it loosely at his side, shaking his head.

“I’m alright, you needn’t fuss over me. What was it you said?” he said, an attempt to distract her.

Her cheeks lit up in a soft shade of pink, her other hand sweeping her hair back behind her ear, her lower lip trapped between straight white teeth. She couldn’t look at him, her shoulders raising, tense, as if trying to squeeze herself down a little smaller, she was nervous, and that was something he couldn’t recall _ever_ seeing from her, she was confident, never second guessing anything.

“I…I was asking why you haven’t asked me such a thing.” She mumbled under her breath, quiet, her words fading out of existence almost.

It took him by surprise, and he had no idea what to say to that. He knew the reasons why, but he could hardly tell her, couldn’t say that he shouldn’t be worthy of her time in such a way, or that it would be wrong of him to make such a suggestion, or more importantly, he had no idea she wanted such a thing.

“Is that something you want, my lady? For me to take you somewhere? If that’s all, I could show you around the camp when you return.” He said.

She shook her head vehemently. “That isn’t what I meant, and you know it!” she began insistently. “I really want to know, why haven’t you ever asked me for a date, am I not to your liking?”

Cullen couldn’t say how she had learned of such things, he had never told her, and to his knowledge, there were no books on such a topic, it couldn’t have been Zevran, he had been around to hear what he spoke of, and the last time he had seen her, she was younger even than when Cullen first met her, definitely not an appropriate topic for a young lady. It would take a fair bit of thinking to decide where she had heard of this and why she decided to bring it up now, though he had to admit, he had begun to realize he had feelings for her, and yet, he was unable to shake the feeling that she didn’t mean it in _that_ way.


	14. Anxieties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While the Herald is away, Cullen spends a bit of time with Varric.

Cullen sat across from Varric, left behind in favor of the elven assassin. He hated that the only buffer between what he perceived as her most dangerous threats being at her side being Cassandra, who he rightly couldn’t warn either. When they set off, he had tried his best to let on without being direct, and it hadn’t paid off in the least.

_“Please, I have to ask you to keep an eye on her for me, make sure she stays safe…” he asked._

_“Don’t worry so much. She’s precious to you, is she not? I like this side of you, like you’re almost a different person. Even if she were not important to you, she is the Herald, and that is reason enough, don’t you agree?” she said._

It had been embarrassing to hear such things said so openly, wanting to deny it again, though he opted not to. Yes, she was precious to him, and she had changed him, but not in this time, it was all a side effect of a life far removed from this one. He had clearly failed to understand just how different he was now than he was when these events originally played out. The reason he had sought out the company of a man he rarely took time to speak with normally was something a little less Inquisition business and more his own personal business.

“I heard the most curious thing the other day, and since I know the kind of business you get into, you seemed the best person to ask.” He said.

“About your young friend, I imagine.” He guessed, taking a drink. “What did she say?”

There really was no need to tell them, was there? Cullen knew from the glint in his eyes and that all too confident, knowing smile that he already had at least some idea of what it was without him saying a word.

“She asked me why I’d never asked her on a date and if she wasn’t to her liking. Both are things she knew nothing of, to my knowledge. I can think of only two people who might talk about such things with her, and Zevran isn’t exactly the romantic type, from what I understand, more ‘to the point’ than that. You, though. You spring to mind as the kind of person who might drop a few hints, and kick back to wait for the results.” He told him, firmly digging his thumb along his temple as though he had a headache.

“Sorry, Cullen. This time, I had nothing to do with it. As a matter of fact, you’re not even looking for the right type of person. You’ll find your culprit is a bit easier on the eyes, if you catch my meaning.” He mused with a soft chuckle.

Three suspects now, Cassandra, Josephine and Leliana. Cassandra didn’t strike him as the type who would waste her time on such a conversation, not when there was work to do. Josephine might, she liked to pretend the rumors and small talk around camp didn’t interest her, and that she was far too occupied with writing to nobles and whatever else she did in what little spare time she dug up. Leliana was the obvious choice, spying was her job and misdirection was a part of that, he could easily picture her pulling Aithne off to the side to hear more about their increasingly dramatic, if imagined, relationship, only to find out the girl was absolutely naïve. Disappointed, perhaps the woman explained it to her in detail, maybe to enlighten her, but more likely was that she did it knowing she would bring it up and it would…he had no idea what the end game was supposed to be for such a scenario.

“What did you say to her?” Varric asked.

Summoned away from his thoughts, he frowned, recalling the incident nearly a week earlier. He hadn’t said anything, couldn’t imagine what to say to such a thing. If she were anyone else, he could have easily pictured it, she was a lovely girl, and it was honestly surprising more of the men, and perhaps some of the women in camp hadn’t been interested in her on the level of Zevran’s borderline harassing advances. If he thought about it beyond what he should allow, he could imagine loving her, and being happy with that, but it couldn’t happen, or at the very least, in his mind, _shouldn’t_ be allowed to happen. In his eyes, she was far too pure, a girl too good for him, his hands were stained in the blood and regret of his past, one she knew precious little about. If she knew, that kindness would slowly ebb away, at least where he was concerned, surely no one could look past the things he had done and accept that.

“I didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say about it.” He said simply.

Varric shook his head in disappointment, rolling his eyes as he once again reached for his drink. “You’re overthinking this. It’s obvious to everyone but you, apparently. You like her, and everyone knows it, does it really matter _who_ told her, it’s an opening, you have a chance to tell her how you feel, and you _don’t_ take it.”

“You’re one to talk, the only woman you seem to care about is that crossbow of yours. She can’t actually tell you off, it’s hardly the same thing.” Cullen grumbled.

Varric sighed, leaning back in his seat. “So you admit you do care; you’re just worried she’s going to reject you. Funny thing about that is you won’t actually know unless you _try_. Do it, ask her on a date, take her out somewhere, talk, relax, she wouldn’t have asked something like that if she wasn’t open to the idea.”

It was fine that he was so sure about it. Assuming he actually did decide to ask such a thing, she could still say she wasn’t serious, it was just a point of curiosity as to _why_ he hadn’t, not that she was hinting she actually wanted him to ask. Then there was the small matter of having so little free time, he barely had time to keep up on even a fraction of the routine she was used to, and if that changed, wouldn’t she only be disappointed that it was still that way after?

“I’ll make you a deal, and it’s a damn good one, if you ask me. You at least give it a try, and I’ll tell you exactly who let her in on it in the first place.” He offered, emptying his cup before continuing. “She should be back later tonight, if I’m not mistaken.”


	15. A Step In Any Direction

Today marked the day of her arrival, back from Val Royeaux, though he had a knot in the pit of his stomach, revolving entirely around the whole ‘history repeating’ situation. There was always a chance she might not come back at all, not if something went wrong this time. He was able to breathe a small sigh of relief when the group walked through the gates, no obvious sign of injury this time, although she had two more in tow, as to be expected. Sera, the elven girl who had a thorough disinterest in anything ‘too elfy’, enjoying pranks, and Vivienne, a mage with a high view of herself, more traditional than most. He supposed it wouldn’t be too long before she would be sent out once again to meet another two people who had served alongside Lavellan last time, the false Grey Warden, Blackwall, who turned out not to even be Blackwall, and the Qunari mercenary, The Iron Bull. With those two, he was less concerned, though he had to wonder if seeing Bull for the first time might cause her some mild panic. Her world had no such equivalent, and the few stories about them that he had shared were mainly about those in Kirkwall, and he hadn’t really gone into descriptive detail about their appearance.

The one small thing that brought him a little joy was seeing the _very_ disappointed look on Zevran’s face. In his mind, he had only hoped it was a result of not just Aithne, but _all of them_ turning him down. He could damn well keep to himself, he was a pest anyway, even if people liked him well enough. Cullen kept to his work, training the soldiers in the yard as he so often did, knowing that he could afford no lapse in the routine. The gate opened once more after a short while, Cassandra branching away from Aithne to return to her own training, the girl pausing to watch him, something she had said she always liked.

_“I like watching you like this. Such discipline seems rare, always so focused too…”  her voice rang in his head._

“Still working, I see. I expected nothing less from you.” She said pleasantly, bypassing any formality.

“It’s as much for everyone here as it is for you, my lady.” He replied.

In truth, he knew the outcome. Knew just how many would die, regardless of whatever he did, or her. It had haunted him even to her world, and to have to relive such a thing again, it would be like reopening a wound that had long since scarred. He hadn’t looked in her direction at all, he realized only when she gently pulled at the back of his sleeve. Cullen instructed the men to keep training, turning finally to face her, not quite expecting the look on her face, she was scared, buried under an almost convincing mask of her usual contented expression.

“Are you alright?” he wondered.

She shook her head, frowning a little. “Not really. Those women, they wanted me dead, and I don’t even know them. I had started to get used to humans being nice and helpful, I guess…I didn’t understand there were people like that here too, it hadn’t sunk in.” she admitted.

“Trust me, even if you were anything but elven, the result would have been the same. It’s not you they hate, not really. They’re just concerned, they’re threatened by so many believing you’re really the Herald of Andraste. I know that’s not much consolation, but in any other circumstance, I’m sure they’d find you perfectly charming, so try not to lend it too much thought.” He said.

She had to be prepared to meet a similar, if not harsher reaction later, that was mild compared to how daunting the task ahead would be, even as he understood her concern.

“I suppose it’s silly to dwell on that, right? Things only get harder from here, right?” she asked.

Varric’s words lingered in his mind, unbidden. He still didn’t feel quite right about mentioning such a thing, and he could all but guarantee she would say no, but at the very least, if he did…would it make a difference in her mood? Palming his face for a moment, wrestling his own thoughts for a solution, he reached for her hand, nodding down the path a short distance. Without a word, he led her just out of earshot of anyone in the yard, it was worth a try, he had decided. Not for himself, but for her, he didn’t like knowing she was unhappy, and even in this world, there was still a sense of fear of coming to harm for letting something happen to her, and in his mind, unhappiness was doing just that. Aithne followed in silence, never prying into his reasoning, a sign of her unfailing trust in him, a feeling that made him smile, if only a little.

“Ahh! The water’s frozen, that’s amazing!” she pointed out with awe.

That was right, the castle seemed to enjoy rather pleasant weather all year long, meaning that it was likely Haven was her first time seeing snow ever, and with no reason to come this way, she probably hadn’t taken a good look at the lake. Her enthusiasm was almost infectious, he had long grown used to such a sight, no longer fascinating to him, but her words gave him cause to look closer, actually finding renewed interest in it for a minute. If he was being honest with himself, that interest was probably just another excuse to bring up what he intended. Taking a deep breath, he finally said it, worried if he didn’t he wouldn’t, and this would all have been just a pointless excuse to show her what ice looked like.

“Aithne, I…listen…what you asked before…I like you just fine, I’d be a fool not to, you’ve really turned into a fine young woman, and anyone would be lucky to have your attention.” He began, struggling to put his thoughts to words. “I—that is…how would you like to go on a date with me, tonight?”

She stared off as though she hadn’t heard him, glancing up after a while had passed, her eyes fixed on his, giggling quietly as she smiled.

“Really? I thought you would never ask. I’d love to…only… do you suppose we can stop here again?” she asked curiously.

It was a response he had never even considered. Part of him hoped she would reject him flat out, the other… had he really hoped even slightly she might? It was becoming harder to tell what he actually wanted, and what was alright, or too much. His hand swept through his hair slowly, the leather creaking slightly as he did, nodding to her when he had sorted his thoughts enough to form a coherent thought.

“Whatever you wish, my lady. If you want to come back, we will.” He said, straining to say it in a way that didn’t make him sound nervous.


	16. A Frozen Moment

Work for the night was finally done, and he imagined it was high time he made his way to her room to pick her up, still fairly unsure what the plan was, except the bit where she wanted to go look at the ice again, for whatever reason.  He was the first to admit he had never had an opportunity to do something like this before and he wasn’t quite sure how this was meant to go, or if he even should, considering this had never happened last time. Frowning, he swept his hand through his hair, attempting to tame his unruly hair, glancing down at his attire. It was pretty much the only thing he had, not one for keeping a varied wardrobe normally, though he found himself wishing he had something a little nicer at the moment. The path to her door was shorter than he anticipated, shorter than he seemed to recall it being, but he was willing to chalk it up to the rush of anxiety he was beginning to feel over the whole situation. With a silent prayer, he knocked on the door, fully expecting her to have changed her mind.

“Come in.” she called quietly.

He opened the door before he himself lost his nerve. Cullen froze in his steps when he saw her, not quite recalling a time when she looked quite so…he couldn’t think of the word, but it was a positive change. Her hair was braided down her back, soft, curled tendrils hanging low in front of her ears, touches of makeup present that he had _never_ seen on her before, her now familiar armor traded for a dress that looked as though it were crafted with her in mind, everything from the fit to the color and the material complementary to her naturally beautiful looks, a thing that only served to confuse him further, feelings and thoughts that were completely foreign to him and which he could assign no meaningful words to springing up in the pit of his stomach and spreading up through his chest. Perhaps an effect of devoting all of his focus to becoming a Templar and trying to do his best, that he hadn’t really fully figured out the intricacies of interacting like this, though it seemed like it should have been easier.

“You look…” he started, sighing as he brushed the back of his neck slowly “absolutely stunning…”

Aithne fidgeted, tugging nervously at her sleeves, twining her fingers together and letting go repeatedly, clearly just as nervous as he was, eventually stopping, only to replace the habit by drumming her fingers against her legs.

“Thank you…I had hoped it might be alright. I’m not used to this style of clothing, dresses, sure, but not like this, everything feels so strange, even the way this material rubs against my skin…” she mumbled absentmindedly.

It was an innocent enough statement, and yet it managed to send his thoughts in the wrong direction, his mind wandering of its own accord towards contemplating what it actually felt like, both the fabric and her skin, a thought which only served to inflame his sense of just how wrong this must actually be. It was surely too late to back out now, he held out his arm for her, glancing away when she looped her arm with his, her fingers hesitantly sliding between his as she shifted her grasp ever so slightly. That too, was nerve wracking, and he found himself grateful as well as cursing the thick leather gloves he wore. He couldn’t recall a time when they didn’t come between them, not quite sure what her hands felt like, now that he really considered it. Cullen imagined they must be soft, despite all the things that might have left them rough, the fineries of her lifestyle surely indicated she had some manner of salve to prevent such a thing.

Cullen felt like he couldn’t ask anyone what to do, instead, trying to recall fuzzy, faded memories of people he had encountered on occasion, on such outings, though he admitted, there were so few such instances. There was a nagging feeling in his mind that he knew of something that might help, but it was like something just out of reach. That settled it then, to the lake first, and hopefully, by the time she tired of looking at it, he might have thought of what it was. He led her out the gate, surprised by how few people there were, Haven was a different place entirely after the sun went down, most turning in, save for a few guards placed around the gate, none of which paid them any mind as they walked away from the safety of the village. The walk had been a quick one, and yet he couldn’t help but notice the way she shivered. As much as she liked to look at the scenery, she most certainly wasn’t acclimated to the cold as others were.

This, this part was second nature to him by now, so used to caring for her, it didn’t feel strange at all to bring her closer, tucked almost protectively under his arm, what wasn’t quite so familiar was the way she curled closer, emitting a quiet sigh. The cold wasn’t the only thing bothering her, at least, that was the feeling he was getting just then. Try as he might, he couldn’t pick up on what could be the problem, leaving asking as his only means of trying to remedy whatever it was.

“Is there something on your mind?” he asked curiously.

Aithne nodded once, though she didn’t look up at him when she spoke as she normally did. The long, silent pause meant little to him, there had been a fair number of occasions where she wasn’t quite able to put her thoughts to words for a while, and he was prepared to wait as long as he needed.

“There is, but…I’m not sure that I should tell you, I don’t know if it’s alright to say or if it would only cause trouble.” She admitted.

Maker’s breath, now she had him far too concerned to let it go, though he was also unreasonably concerned that something might have happened that she wasn’t sure about, it could be any number of things, and just letting it go so easily was irresponsible at best, and possibly horrible at worst.

“You can tell me anything, princess.” He assured her, his hand lightly squeezing her shoulder in emphasis.

Initially, she shook her head in denial, fully prepared to drop the subject. After another short time, she finally looked up, her strange eyes fixed intently on his, as though she were readying herself to unflinchingly face a foe she knew she couldn’t hope to beat on the battlefield, a determined expression he had rarely witnessed in her.

“Cullen, I… I can’t keep it from you anymore, and I’m sorry if it’s troublesome, but I can’t lie to you or to myself. I…well…” her confidence was beginning to waver, though she stubbornly continued on. “I’ve liked you…for a long time now, but I didn’t want to tell you, I thought maybe…maybe you’d never feel the same, or that I’d always just be the person you had to take care of so you wouldn’t die…” her voice barely above a shaking whisper at that point.

That was so much to process, he had only just begun to realize his feelings towards her were changing, firmly set in his belief that she would never return such feelings. Now that she had said it, the revolving thoughts of whether or not it was right to feel anything so meaningful for her, and if it would affect anything beyond their unconventional relationship, there would be speculation and questions, rumors, that was to be expected, it had already been that way, but what was supposed to be his response? Honesty was surely better than denying it entirely or even insisting he had no feelings for her, when it was likely obvious he did feel something.

“Aithne…is it wrong to say I feel the same? I don’t really know what to think, the only thing I’m certain of is that I do care for you, more than I should, I’m sure. I just…don’t know what to do about it.” He told her.

She strained to her toes, her hands freed from the bunched fabric of his mantle, coming to rest on his cheeks, bitten by the chilly air, her thumbs lightly brushing across his lips, as though seeing him for the first time. The eye contact alone was maddening, and the revelation of just how soft and warm her hands actually were made it hard to think, impossible to ignore. Cursing himself with every second, he leaned in, her hands moving to rest at his shoulders, breath cut away by a sudden kiss. This was not how he imagined the night going, not in the least, and yet, it was almost like he had lost control of his own body for a split second, called back in his mind to the very night things had changed to the last time he had kissed her. It was nothing like this, a feeling like time slowing to a complete stop, like everything had ceased to exist save for her, and him. The most interesting thing he could observe was that this time, she was not nearly as stunned as the last time, quickly figuring it out, just as he was, twisting to the sides to mirror his own actions, matching in intensity, more like the gentle flame of a candle than a raging bonfire. No, if this was to be the kiss that marked a change in their relationship, it would not be one that signaled a loss of control, not for her, the girl he had long considered the center of his world, though different in context now.

_At the very least, the lack of world-rending cataclysms, or even excessive lightning seemed like a good sign that this wasn’t quite enough to cause problems with time, anyway._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Choosing a side, new companions, and discovering where the initial idea had come from.


	17. Vision

_Cold sweat beaded on her skin, chilled by the breeze seeping in through gaps in the windows and under the door, clutching the blankets tightly. It should have been more familiar by now, but the eerie feel of the visions she saw, and the distorted voice, slightly comforting, but still far more frightening to her than anything. No matter where she looked, she saw only foggy, yet deeply colorful shapes hidden in the mist, seeking out the voice as she always did. Pushing past low, sweeping boughs, lined with tails of vivid leaves, she saw a person, not just any, but her._

_“My child, come, sit with me.” She instructed._

_Aithne stepped closer, hesitantly, taking a seat by her on the grass, eyes widening as she managed her first good look at the woman, previously always shrouded, hidden from view. She had long, flowing golden waves, and eyes like glistening crystals, flawless skin peeking through slits in the billowy sleeves of the gown she wore, pallid, but almost glowing. The woman gestured to the tree she stood by, birds in strange colors perched in the branches, a serene smile on her face._

_“I must tell you what cannot be said. You will be coming upon a choice soon, and it may seem obvious, but you must go against it. It is imperative, if you are to not only survive these trying times, but escape the web threatening to entangle you and all you will come to hold dear. I would not think to send you off into the danger without help, of course. Turn your gaze to my friends, for they are special, they are possessed of a gift I would share with you to aid you on your journey.” She said._

_Her hands reached towards a tempting fruit, like her, it was flawless, the kind of thing one might regret destroying, even if it were to sate a deep, gnawing hunger. She picked the fruit, handing it over carefully, gesturing to it with a nod._

_“You must eat all of it. When you awaken, you will bear this gift I’m offering, for it is the power to relieve hurts, grievous or minor, with but a song.” She explained._

_Aithne frowned, doing as she was told, she bit into it, surprised by how delicious it was, unlike the identical ones growing in the garden at the castle. This was better by far, finally starting to piece it together in her mind, the task ahead of her. Not quite ready to stop long enough to answer, as though she hadn’t eaten in days, she devoured it quickly, embarrassed by her lack of manners at that point._

_“I can’t really sing though, I’m rubbish at it…” she sighed._

_Extending her hand once more, her fingertip pressed at the hollow of her throat. “You can. Believe in my words, they are the balm you will bear to heal the land, but you must trust me. It’s time for you to wake up now, but we will meet again, sooner than you think, and again, I will have a gift for you. I will not allow you to be lost to the tides of time, or to that woman’s power…” she said, her voice fading away._

Aithne’s eyes fluttered open, hurriedly sweeping away the cold sweat at her brow. It was unsurprising that she had woken alone like this, Cullen had warned her that he wouldn’t stay, having much to prepare in the way of her first truly important mission. Busying herself with her morning preparations, she shook her head, wondering how she would ever tell him what had happened. He insisted everything had to be done the same, but the woman in her dreams said to go against it, based on the stories he had told her to get her to sleep, she knew the very choice it meant. Instead of siding with the mages, as she should have, she would have to risk siding with the Templars and hope her gut feeling was right.

Cullen had already been up for a few hours already, assigning placements for the newest companions to join the cause. It was harder than normal to focus on his work today, the kiss still fresh in his mind, as though it were still happening. Heaving an irritable sigh, he turned around, almost certain he could sense the dwarf behind him, a feeling which, it turned out, was absolutely right.

“If you’re here to dig for information, I’ll save you the trouble. I asked her, and it went marginally better than I thought it might. I believe you have something to tell me now.” He said, in no mood to play games.

Varric scratched his chin in thought, mildly impressed that he had actually mustered the courage to bring it up, thoroughly convinced that he wouldn’t actually do it. A strangely unsettling smirk broke across his face, quietly laughing before he finally offered up his part of the deal.

“So I do. You were half right. I passed on a little information to Josephine, and she took over from there. I just let her in on what I was writing, she asked some questions, I told her. Josephine gave her ideas, and, thanks to Leliana, she was able to find out in time to get her outfitted and dolled up. You’re welcome, Cullen.” He said.

Cullen groaned, cradling his head against his hand in disbelief. Not one guilty party, but three, admittedly, he should have suspected Josephine and Leliana working together, but that they were working in tandem with Varric was something he hadn’t even considered. The feeling was strangely mixed, on the one hand, he was furious, if she was meant to learn such things, it should have been in her own time, without extra help. On the other, thanks to their interference, he had been given an opportunity to see her in a way he might never have seen otherwise. That there was anything that could be done that could only enhance her appearance seemed baffling.

“Enough about that, I’ve got to be ready. Aithne can’t win over the mages with looks and good manners alone.” He said.

“What makes you think she’ll side with the mages? I know the whispers say that she is a mage, but they also say she barely has the ability to do anything with that magic, that means there’s very little reason she would be interested, right?” he questioned.

“It’s just a feeling. I don’t really know for sure.” He lied. “Yes, she is a mage, but her abilities are underdeveloped, as you have heard.” He verified.

“Either way, isn’t this all a little premature? Cassandra mentioned it would be beneficial to take a little extra time to carefully plan out the next move, it’s not like she’s leaving today.” He told him.

Cullen thought it over, this felt like it happened ages ago, and he was almost certain it actually was that Lavellan had taken off right away, but when he thought about it a little harder, he vaguely remembered a few days being needed to discuss the plans, and while he knew she already settled on the mages, same as last time, if the past said a few days, it had to be that way, right?


	18. Just Make A Choice

The dream was still fresh in her mind, the concept of being able to heal wounds with a song seemed far too grand for someone like her, someone who was only marginally useful otherwise, and then, the idea of doing the opposite of Cullen’s instructions. He had never misled her before, she trusted him implicitly, he had no reason to, and yet, here she was, entertaining the idea of appealing to the Templars for help because she had been told to in a dream. She heaved a sigh, slowly dragging her hand through her hair, simultaneously trying to decrease her rising stress and smooth out the tangles that had accumulated overnight. Of course, she hadn’t yet had the chance to tell him about it, and in truth, she wasn’t sure it was a good idea. If she was truly meant to do things this way, telling him would have him insisting she not do that. 

 

She swung her legs over the side of the bed, bending to grab her boots when the door opened. Zevran leaned lazily against the door frame, nodding his head to the side before he spoke. “I was told to come get you. The Seeker is impatiently waiting to hear if you’ve reached a conclusion on the subject of who you intend to side with.” 

 

Aithne was far from ready to discuss it among her advisors, though she couldn’t let that detail slip. Lacing her boots, her brow furrowed, turning her attention back to the door for a moment. His head canted to the side, watching her in silence, like he had more to say, though he was waiting for her to somehow guess what it was. If that was his intent, she was at a complete loss, unsure what he could possibly be waiting for.

 

“Was there something else?” she asked curiously. 

 

He cleared his throat, his expression turning guilty. “I’ve been asked to wait here and escort you personally to the chantry. It would seem they expect you to ditch.” 

 

Of course that was it. She hadn’t yet shirked her responsibilities on purpose yet, everything done in a timely manner, as efficiently as she could possibly manage, and yet, this time, they thought she wouldn’t show. It was insulting, but somehow, very honest. The thought  _ had _ actually crossed her mind to not go, to delay her answer as much as possible until she made a solid decision on what was the best path. Standing up, she smoothed out the slight wrinkles of her pants, pausing at the door, an almost huffy look on her face. It took him a moment to understand why she hadn’t yet begun to move.She was, at the end of the day, a lady, used to certain gestures that she couldn’t quite escape. Zevran moved out of the doorway, holding his arm out in offering. Aithne looped her arm with his, following his pace, though he couldn’t help but notice it wasn’t the warm, familiar way she had with the Commander, but a kind of loose grasp he hadn’t expected. 

 

It didn’t really bother him so much as it was an interesting observation, one that demonstrated just how much she trusted him, whereas he hadn’t spent nearly as much time with her, and warranted only the notice afforded someone helping a lady step out of a carriage. At the chantry doors, he held it open, allowing her to go in first, though he kept an eye on her as instructed, the closing of the door his signal to ready his now unoccupied hand to prepare to reach for her in the unlikely event that she tried to bolt. She walked the hall to the war room with the demeanor of someone about to go to the gallows, and he had to hold back a laugh. The girl was taking it so seriously, without understanding that this was just a discussion, not a set in stone plan of action that was to take place immediately. 

 

Stepping into the room, she let go of his arm, her attention falling back to the door when it closed louder than she expected, a slight jump accompanying the nervous glance. Aithne hadn’t prepared anything to say, a mistake in her mind, she should have spent the walk trying to plan  _ anything _ to say, now she felt foolish about it. 

 

“I trutst Zevran has filled you in? We’re here to discuss the situation, hopefully reach a solution this time.” Cassandra stated. 

 

Trying to look as serious as she could, she turned her focus to the map, though her vision blurred as she did, almost like trying to stare through it.  _ Look busy  _ she told herself over and over before her fingertips thoughtfully stopped to prod the pieces on the map. 

 

“What do we know about the current state of things?” she asked, hoping it sounded official and contemplative enough to be convincing. 

 

Cassandra shifted her glance to Josephine, who pointed to one marker first. “The mages have taken refuge in Redcliffe, if you choose to meet with the mages and acquire their aid, it might be tough. Should they offer resistance, Cullen assures us the castle won’t fall, so unless we can secure another way in, it won’t happen. That being said, it would be wise to at least hear the offer.” she explained. 

 

Her hand crossed the table, pausing at the other mark on the map. “The Templars have retreated to Therinfal Redoubt, and if we’re being honest, we have no idea what’s going on there. As you might expect, they don’t particularly seem to be in a cooperative mood. It will take much to get them to agree to a meeting at all. Should you accomplish that, we have no idea what to expect.” she finished. 

 

Aithne pinched idly at the bridge of her nose like trying to stave off an impending headache. What to say to this was still unclear, with Cullen right across from her, it seemed like a horrible time to spring ‘I saw the Goddess in my dream and she said not to side with the mages, so we’re going after the Templars’ felt like a bad choice of words. All eyes fell on her while waiting for her to say something, anything at this point. At least siding with the mages was an advantage, she already knew the outcome, it was a safer bet, but at the same time, what if the dream was more than just a dream? Her eyes fell to her hand, watching the gentle flicker, as if it might somehow hold the secret to what she was supposed to do, or perhaps she was just hoping she’d accidentally open a rift and get swallowed by it to avoid the choice altogether. Clearing her throat, she finally looked back up. Better to get it out of the way now, and take the lecture she was sure to receive than to delay it a moment longer. 

 

“See to whatever preparations you need to, looks like I’m going to Therinfal Redoubt when it’s time.” she said authoritatively, hoping to avoid any arguments. 

 

Josephine scribbled something on her paper, nodding as she did. “We’ll get right on that. In the meantime, I believe there are other preparations that could be seen to.” 

  
Aithne didn’t miss the slight nod towards Leliana. Clearly the spymaster had some task planned for her to look into while waiting. She did her best not to look across the table, worried about the look that might be on his face, surely anger tinged with disappointment. Taking a deep breath, she spun on her heel, facing the way out, leaving in what appeared to be a polite hurry, trying to decide if she did the right thing or not. 


End file.
